"Why wasn't I attacked yet? I deserve it too!"

Twilight felt petulant and was sure that, for once, she had every right to be it. Around her Royal Guards were  securing entrances to the ballroom, searching for more attackers, comforting the traumatized, scraping pies from the wall and generally ran around in mild panic.

Celestia stepped to her side and put a wing on her back. "Why would you want to be involved? This is no laughing matter."

"Indeed it is not. It is an insult, that is what it is." Luna raised one of the pies the perpetrator hadn't had time to us and examined it closely. "I remember quite well in the old times. Assassins had manners and good taste back then and used daggers. That was proper fun, not"—she catapulted the pie at the wall scattering screaming guards—"this."

"Luna, we talked about the meaning of the word [i]fun[/i], you are misusing it again."

"I am certainly not." Luna grabbed a guard passing by under one foreleg and made a grand swiping gesture with the other. "I would walk through the palace, an assassin would jump out of the shadows and stab me, the blade would break, I would laugh, he would laugh, I would throw him through the nearest window." She sighed and smiled, the guard squeaked. "They knew how to do those things. It was fun."

Twilight stared at Luna, then looked up to Celestia who shook her head mouthing [i]Don't encourage her.[/i] She looked at the panicking guard in the iron grip of the night Princess and decided that it would be another entry for her already overflowed mental [i]Don't Ask[/i] folder.

"Misguided ideas of my dear sister aside, as I was saying, this is nothing fun or desirable. I can't see why you want to be involved in this whole situation." Celestia stepped to one of the sobbing guards hit by a stray shot of whipping cream and cleaned his muzzle with a napkin.

"It's... You have been attacked five times this year alone, Cadance dodged two pies last month and Shining Armor fought them at his birthday. Even Flurry Heart got a cupcake, and she can't really do much more than drool and destroy ancient artifacts of power. I had my crown for a while now, I fought ancient horrors and brokered truces. I am a Princess too, I want ponies to understand that. I deserve an attempt at my position like everypony else."

"But this is not some kind of validation of your role, Twilight. Look, Luna hasn't been attacked too."

Twilight glanced over to Celestia's sister who was making stabbing motions and laughing in front of two covering guards. She really wasn't sure when Luna had grabbed the second one, but it seemed that the budget for psychologists would have to be expanded. Again.

She muttered under her breath, "That kind of drives my point home."

Celestia turned to her ex-pupil and asked, "What?"

"Nothing. Say, why exactly are there ponies throwing pies at royalty while screaming [i]Gloup! Gloup![/i]?" 

"The  Internationale Pâtissière and I go a long way back." Celestia sighed. "It began with an argument about the appropriate amount of vanilla ice cream near a piece of apple strudel and then things went out of hoof. I made some remark on the futility of the whole argument and how they were wasting my time and they swore vendetta until I would apologize. That was three hundred and sixty-five years ago."

"Wait, how does that involve Cadance?"

"Things became more complex with time. It evolved, among other things, to a stance against 'arrogance and telling ponies how to do their jobs'. They hit Chrysalis too."

"So, if you apologize for that remark, then it's over?"

Celestia stood straight,iron in her voice, her mane ablaze. "I don't negotiate with pastry-terrorists."

Twilight stomped and said, "Well, this is ridiculous. I will put an end to this farce."

[hr]

She scooped a large glob of whipped cream and held it over the pie crust. She hesitated. How could it come to that? Why had Twilight, no, Princess Twilight took a stance? Why had it to be the wrong one? They had had so much hope for her. She could have been the Princess on the right side of history.

There was no other way now. With a decisive gesture, the whipped cream landed in the crust and Ms. Cake took another scoop. A tear ran down her cheek as she whispered "Gloup Gloup."