I wake up. I am relaxed and comfy. I yawn.
 
I freeze.
 
Where is the constant gnawing of hunger? 
 
I bolt awake.
 
As I get to my hooves, they’re the wrong color. I wasn’t infiltrating anywhere, was I? No, I was working as a guard at the hive. Then why am I disguised? I try to drop the illusion, and realize there is nothing to drop. My legs are still the wrong color, and there aren’t any holes.
 
The gnawing is still gone. I’m so confused; I’m struggling to think at all. I don’t understand! Nothing makes sense! I close my eyes as if that will help. I can’t see my wrong-colored body anymore, but the hunger still hasn’t come back yet. Why aren’t I hungry? Changelings are always hungry! I shiver. Even shivering feels different.
 
I realize that not being hungry feels [i]good[/i].
 
I open my eyes and look around. My hivemates, sleeping near me, are all colorful strangers. I remember, slowly, yesterday. When we thought we’d have food forever after Que— after Chrysalis’ plan succeeded. When the traitor Thora— [i]King[/i] Thorax transformed. And then when I followed suit. This was real, not a nightmare, not a dream. Could I even dream what “not hungry” feels like, when I’ve never felt it before today?
 
Yesterday… I think yesterday was a good day. I can think more clearly now; the confusion and panic are slowly fading as I remember. I must have been very tired after yesterday, to sleep so deeply and wake so befuddled. Or is it because of the change? Will I always wake up confused, not remembering where I am? Does this happen to ponies all the time? Am I like a pony now, or still a normal changeling? Or am I something completely new? Do I even want to be something new? When King Thorax transformed into something amazing, it looked like it was meant to be, the best thing ever. I wanted that too, but now I’m not so sure. Is there a way to go back? Would I take it even if there was?
 
I look down at myself, at my different body, just noticeably heavier than usual. It’s so strange, not having holes in my legs. Where did they go? I lift a hoof and run it up a leg--it’s as solid as if the holes were never there. I trail my hoof higher, over the new shiny bumps in my chest. They’re smooth under my touch, and they glitter almost like they’re inset gems. Do they do anything? Are they tender? It doesn’t hurt to touch them. I barely feel anything at all. What are they made of? What am [i]I[/i] made of? I knew it was chitin before, but is it different now?  


I try to remember that moment of metamorphosis, the moment I turned into this new me. I can’t remember feeling each different change happen. I can’t really remember how it felt at all. It was too much, too fast, and overwhelmed me.  


I think about the moment before the transformation. [i]That[/i] I don’t think I’ll ever forget. It was like nothing else I’ve ever done or felt. I was hungry, like every minute I can remember before then, and I had to give up all my love, my food--just throw it away, as hard as I could. I was afraid I’d die, when I gave that last bit away. I could feel it leave, feel myself getting emptier and hungrier--until that moment when I was sure I’d just ended myself. Suddenly, I felt love from somewhere I can’t identify pouring through me, a stream, a river, a torrent, and it was beautiful. I felt light, lighter than I’ve ever felt, and then there was a glow surrounding me and I was changing. After that, I was new.


I look at my body again, and try flapping my wings. They catch the air better without the holes, and when I close them, the new covers settle comfortingly into place over top. This different body is strange, but...nice, I think.  


I think yesterday was a good day. I like this not-hungry feeling. I don’t even need to eat the love that’s swirling all around me. It makes me feels safe in a way I’ve never felt before. I’m still unsure about all this, but I have time to figure it out, even if it is scary.
 
I look over my sleeping hivemates.
 
And at least I’m not alone.