Looking up from the clipboard floating in the glow of his horn, the stallion shrugged. "Sorry," he said. "We're all out."

"But—" Dinky flapped her new wings. "I finally got 'em this morning, see? I'm an alicorn now, and that means I get to be a princess!"

"Sorry." The way the stallion didn't even shrug this time made Dinky wonder how sorry he really was. "We assigned the last title two hours ago." The clipboard spun around just long enough for Dinky to see that the paper on it was blank, then he was pulling it back and turning to call across the empty desks of the office space behind the counter. "Isn't that right, boss?"

"Huh?" In a yellow-grey flash, an alicorn appeared, an alicorn whose eyes pointed in different directions.

"Mom?" Dinky's ears folded. "What're [i]you[/i] doing here?"

"Dinky!" Another popping flash brought her mother into the lobby, that oh-so-familiar hug wrapping around Dinky. "It's my new title! I get a whole office to myself! Well, except for Ink Slinger." She flashed again and appeared behind the counter next to the stallion. "I'm the Princess of Princessence!"

"The—?"

"It means," Ink Slinger said, not looking away from the pyramid he'd begun building with pads of yellow sticky notes, "that she's in charge of princess titles. It was the last title on the list, and the Princess Council decided that she deserved it after all her—"

"So wait!" Dinky jumped up, her wings flaring. "Mom used to be the Princess of Postal Delivery To The Fifteen Hundred Block Of West Bridal Avenue In Ponyville! So if she's here now—"

"Sorry, honey." At least when Mom said it, the droop in her voice told Dinky she meant it. "Zipporwhill got her horn early this morning, so she got my old title. And with everypony becoming an alicorn lately—"

Ink Slinger cleared his throat, and Mom drooped a little more. "Every [i]mare[/i] becoming an alicorn, I mean. Because, well, a stallion can't be a princess, can he?"

The smile that crawled over Ink Slinger's snout reminded Dinky of a slug. "And neither can your daughter."

"Honey?" Mom blinked at her. "Are you a stallion?"

Dinky found herself grinding her teeth to keep from shouting at her mother, but a pop startled her. Looking back, she saw a pale yellow alicorn materializing in a ball of dazzling light by the Princess Registry's door. "Whoa!" the newcomer said. "As the Princess of Turning That Frown Upside-Down, I must intervene!"

Recognizing the voice, Dinky had to stare. "Pumpkin? When did you get your wings?"

Pumpkin Cake grinned. "A couple minutes ago!" She spread them. "Aren't they great?"

"But—" The carpet felt like it was dropping away under Dinky's hooves. "You got a title?"

"Well, yeah." Pumpkin tossed her mane. "It's one Pinkie Pie took when she became an alicorn way back when. She's been saving it for me!"

"Saving it?" Dinky whirled to face the counter. "Mom! You could've saved a title for me?"

Mom was busy putting the finishing touches on a second sticky note pyramid while Ink Slinger was twisting paper clips into an aerial tramway connecting the two. "What was that, honey?" Mom asked.

Dinky fell back onto the carpet. "I'm doomed. I'm...I'm the Princess of Not Having a Title."

With a whoosh, Mom's ears sprang up. "Hey," she said, her eyes widening. "My Princessence powers are telling me we don't have one of those!"

Ink Slinger sniffed. "Well, of [i]course[/i] we don't. Princess of Not Having a Title would be a title, so bestowing it upon an alicorn would likely create a paradoxical vortex into which the entirety of Equestria would tumble, spraying magma and—"

Leaping forward, Dinky used her magic to slap sticky notes over his mouth. "Mom! You're the Princess of Princessence! So if you say I'm the Princess of Not Having a Title, that'll make it happen, right?"

"Umm," Pumpkin said somewhere behind Dinky.

But Mom was already nodding. "Anything for my little princess," she said.