“So what else do you have to drink here?” inquired the Purple Alicorn as she flumphed around on a beanbag chair. Movie Nights often left her somewhat restless.

“Uhhh, mostly salzbier and tap water?” hazarded her friend, the Polychromatic Aviator, as she paused the movie once more. “And the liquor cabinet’s over there.” She waved a wing, casting a small feather towards a small floatwood construction from Hikier.

Twilight ‘ported over, leaving her silhouette behind her in a puff of displaced water vapor, and browsed the cabinet, giving little attention to the many almost empty bottles of Johnnie Trotter Plaid and Quadruple Sec. “Hmm. Foirish Twist, what’s that one?” She hoofed up a bottle of thickish amber liquid.

“Oh, that,” muttered Dash, “That’s kinda like a honey mead… It’s, uh, a little bit strong for you.”

Twi rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, all of these items are mainly ethanol in one concentration or another. Add syrups and other not-immediately toxic compounds to taste. I swear that you act as if you’re crafting real potions here.” She took up two tumblers and went to slosh the sweet fluid between them.

“Hey, hold up there! First of all, that stuff is kinda expensive? And second, you’re supposed to just take a shot and sip it.” Dash flitted over and seized two shotglasses, pouring the correct amounts and passing one to her friend. “There you go. Slawnchee!” She started with a sip but largely slurped it down instead.

Twi took a deep sniff, then a sip that also devolved into a gulp. “Definitely clover honey. Probably distilled in a charred beer barrel. Just where did those esters come from, they’ve been curtailed? I need another sample.” She sloshed more into the shotglass, hastily catching the overflow in her magic field and funneling it to her mouth. “Huh, tastes different this time. Some severe granite notes and maybe something igneous. Maybe vitrified?” She inspected the bottle even as Dash gently pried it from her grasp.

“Sorry Twi, I think that’s enough for tonight..” Dash corked the bottle, but Twi’s horn flashed and ‘ported a perfect cylinder of fluid from inside, skipping the glass and taking the mouthful. “Doesn’t travel well,” she burbled. “Paradimensional wheatgrass and Zap Barley, this time.” She ‘ported another gulp out as Dash shouted and tried to block it, with the result that Dash lost a bit of mane and Twi wound up with a rainbow mustache, which she sneezed away.

“Twi, you’re doing it again,” sighed Dash. “Can’t let you drink and fly. Now you gotta sleep here tonight, which means I kinda gotta do laundry…”

Twi shook her head to clear it of bogies and heffalumps. “Nah, don’t worry, I’ll just ‘port home.” She zapped the remaining contents of the bottle into a containment field, leaving the bottle itself behind, and took general aim at the distant palace before zapping her way out through the window in a lightning flash, leaving a series of nerd-shaped holes through the clouds. Dash sighed and slumped back onto the couch.


Early next morning, as Luna prepared to go to bed, there was a knock on her window. Muttering, she flung it open. “Yes?”

“Yeah, uh, sorry to disturb you, but what’s ‘croon ye’?” inquired Dash.

Luna blinked once. “‘Tis a tiny asteroid that shares an odd resonant orbit with Equus, and is at present a million miles away. Why do you ask?”

Dash groaned. “Twi sent me a mental message, I think she’s stuck there. She got drunk last night and tried to teleport home.”

Luna gave Dash a long slow stare. Then she suddenly but firmly shut the window.