Twilight gave a long-suffering sigh, her head hitting her desk horn-first. She rubbed her horn and hissed through her teeth as she turned to glare behind her.

"Can you [i]please[/i] stop that?"

The wet squelching noises behind her finally, blissfully stopped. Discord looked up in confusion. Twilight tried not to gag at the trail of saliva hanging from his lips.

"Twilight, my dear friend, are you really so insensitive?" Discord asked, his tone wounded as he wrapped his lover in a passionate embrace. "Are you that disgusted with our love?"

Were Twilight able to wither forests with a glare, the entirety of the White-Tail Woods would have been seriously endangered by the expression she gave Discord. Fortunately for the woodland creatures, though unfortunately for Twilight's sense of catharsis, her glare was not nearly that effective.

"Discord," Twilight began, her patience diving further into negative integers every second, "that is a rock."

Discord's eyes widened in shock, his mouth hanging open. Quickly he slapped his hands over his lover's ears, shaking his head.

"I am simply aghast at how rude you can be to my beautiful partner! What did Tom ever do to you?" Discord's voice was like a sea of disappointment over which Twilight floated in her trusty bullshit-resistant boat.

"Nothing," Twilight retorted, "because it's a rock. A rock that you are furiously making out with." Her eyes narrowed further. "In my study."

"On my quills." Spike added quietly, lowering the claw he'd been using to shield his eyes from the scene so he could look in defeat at the crushed writing utensils. "I just bought those too."

Discord looked positively furious. "Oh, I see. You say you're totally fine with us and our true love, but then try to make it so the only place we can be ourselves is while locked away!" He huffed, stroking his lover soothingly as he shot Twilight a glare of his own. "You've become a real politician, [i]princess[/i]."

Twilight really did try to keep her eye from twitching. Boy, did she ever try. She folded both hooves over her face, breathing deeply.

"Discord, I'll be honest with you," Twilight strained to keep herself from growling out her words, "I don't care if you sloppily make out with and awkwardly fondle a rock-" she ignored his indignant gasp here "-I really don't. I just ask that you not do so in my study, on [i]my property[/i], for [b][i]thirty straight minutes[/i][/b]."

"We're engaging in civil protest." Discord said dismissively. "Until you end your tyrannical campaign against my love for Tom, I shall not leave or be silenced! In the name of all lovers of rocks!"

Twilight pointed a hoof. "See, you just called him a rock yourself! I mean it! I mean- [i]augh[/i]!"

Discord raised his nose to the air, crossing his arms. "I'm allowed to call him a rock, I have a lot of good friends who are rocks." He seemed to take Twilight's enraged silence as acceptance. The draconequuis leaned back into his lover, coiling his entire body against its surface in a way that made Spike pale and back completely out of the room, his quills either forgotten or deemed not worth dealing with [i]this[/i]. Discord's lips met his lover like a very slow, wet train crash which released an ungodly smacking sound. It almost masked the sound of Twilight's patience catastrophically snapping.

Both Discord and the rock were violently defenestrated in a blast of magenta magic, a long, enraged scream following them. 

[hr]

Twilight woke up the next morning, gliding blearily down the stairs to the kitchen and pouring herself some coffee. She pulled up her newspaper, glancing through it as she let the caffeine awaken her system. A particularly large headline caught her eye and snapped her wide awake, her jaw dropping. She bolted from the table, leaving behind the bold title "Twilight Sparkle: Princess of Intolerance?" and the picture of a sobbing Discord clutching a rock beneath it. 

[b][i]"DISCORD!"[/i][/b]