“I’d love to go golfing with you, Steve, but first, we need to talk about alternate universes.”

“Alternate universes?”

“Yeah, Steve. Alternate universes.”

“Why?” asked Steve.

“Because some of them are quite interesting. Like this one where under Cheyenne Mountain, we have this weird circle-gate that let’s us travel around the galaxy.”

“Oh really? How does that work?” Steve asked excitedly.

“It’s simple, Steve. Aliens.”

“Oh. Any others you know of?” Steve questioned curiously.

“Of course! There’s one where the world is full of superheroes, and when aliens from another realm threatened the earth, they banded together to form a team called the Retaliators or something.”

“Why were they called that?” asked Steve innocently.

“I don’t know, Steve, but I think it had something to do with the overwhelming odds against them.”

“So what else is there?” Steve asked, an intrigued grin on his face.

“Let’s see, there’s one where this guy called Alabama James or something goes on adventures to ancient ruins, takes an artifact from it, fights some Nazis after they steal the artifact, then puts said artifact into a museum. He really likes using whips, too.”

“That’s odd,” Steve commented, a  furrow appearing in his brow.

“Yes, yes it is Steve. Moving on, though. I know of one where instead of humans, it's a bunch of colorful horses with names like ‘Sunrise Dazzle,’ and they have pictures of their destiny on their butts.”

“On their butts?” Steve asked, his mouth twisting as he struggled to comprehend all that was being said to him.

“Yes, Steve, on their butts. But if you think that’s weird, they have a gateway to an alternate dimension where they are colorful humans.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Steve began, “an alternate dimension inside an alternate dimension!”

“Precisely. Oh, and that reminds me of another one where they had this technology that let them create dreams, and in these dreams they had access to the same technology letting them create dreams within dreams within dreams within dreams, and so on.”

“Whoa,” Steve interjected, obviously amazed.

“That was my reaction too, Steve. And if you think that’s bad, wait till you hear this next one… right after the break.


[hr]
This confusion brought to you in part by me, doing nothing since forever.
[hr]


“Dude, what are you doing…”

“Commercial break, Steve. You can’t have a talk like this without a commercial break.

“Whatever. You said you had a big universe to talk about?”

“Indeed I do. For you see, this one suspends all belief that we are real. To them, we are nothing but words on a page, doing and saying only what the plot and the writer demand."

“What? No, that’s impossible!” yelled Steve in denial, but he knew in his heart what his friend said was true.

“No, Steve, it is very possible. Even now the reader is just as confused as you and I.”

“Leave me alone, you reader. Get away from me!”

“Don’t worry Steve, this reader will. But only if we go and play golf now.”

"Ok..."