I was loved once. That might be hard to believe, looking at me as I am now. Laid up in a dark, dingy alley amid the garbage cans and refuse. My fur matted or missing, my hair a tangled mess, soaked through by an earlier Hearth Warming Eve drizzle. No, I wasn’t always like this. I can remember better times. So many better times. My memory is quite good, after all. It always has been. Why, I can even remember my very first day… [hr] It was dark. I remember that. It had been dark for a very long time. But I knew the future would be different. I could feel it. There was a steady sound of hoofbeats around me, and excited voices. And suddenly the whole world was moving and shaking! And there was light, bright white light… And then a pair of giant hooves reached down to lift me up out of my box. “Awwwww! She’s so adorable! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” That was my first owner speaking. Sparkling Dreams was her name, and I was her [i]favorite[/i] Hearths Warming present. She wasted no time lifting me up to her face and nuzzling my soft plush body, and I could practically feel her love and happiness inside me, warming my stuffing as she squeezed me. “Thank Santa Hooves, Honey.” Miss Sparkling’s Mom gently admonished. “He’s the one who brought you the doll after all, since you’ve been such a good little filly this year.” “Okay Mommy! Me and Molly will go write him a thank you letter right now!” Sparkling was practically jumping in place as she held me against her barrel. Her excitement was contagious, and I’d have been jumping up and down too, if I could have. I couldn’t of course, so I settled for dangling from her foreleg, and thinking happy, excited thoughts. “Molly? Who’s Molly, sweatheart?” Mister Sparkling’s Dad asked. “That’s her name of course! Molly! And we’re going to be [i]best friends[/i]!” She said with a giggle and another warm hug. I loved Sparkle’s hugs. I loved everything about my Sparkle. [hr] I later learned that ‘Molly’ was an odd name for a pony, but a perfectly acceptable one for a doll. I was very partial to it myself, though I might be a tad biased. After that first Hearth’s Warming, Sparkling and I were inseparable. We’d do [i]everything[/i] together! We played dress up, had tea parties, tried out new hairstyles. Sometimes we’d be royalty, and go to fancy parties and lavish balls! We’d even meet Princess Celestia sometimes! (It’s very important that one learn to curtsy properly when meeting royalty!) We’d also go on trips sometimes! The long ones to Grandma’s house were rare. But short trips to the park were common. We’d spend hours walking around the park, discovering secret places in bushes, or searching for pirate treasure around the pond. And, of course, having picnics in the royal gardens! It wasn’t always just the two of us though. Sometimes we’d meet other fillies and colts there and play together with them. There would be other dolls there too sometimes, keeping their owners company. Sometimes we'd have [i]big[/i] tea parties with the other fillies and dollies, or play house together. And Sparkling would play with the other dolls too. But I knew she was just being polite and a gracious host. She never strayed far from me, and she [i]always[/i] asked my opinion on things first. And when we went home she’d carry me into bed and snuggle up against me, giving me a kiss and telling me goodnight before we fell asleep. I do so miss those goodnight kisses. [hr] Sparkling Dreams and I went on like that for years. And those were beautiful, wonderful years. But as time passed, Sparkling spoke to me less and less. She didn’t always consult me, asking for me opinion on things. And sometimes she’d leave me behind for a little while. She didn’t [i]forget[/i] about me! Good gracious, no! At least, not then… But we weren’t quite as inseparable as we once were. It was around this time that Sparkling’s little brother, Ordered Rank, began sneaking off with me when he could. Oh, not that I ever [i]minded![/i] Ordered would carry me off and put me in front of his little lines of toy guardsmen. He’d be a big, important Captain, and I’d be his sergeant, delivering his orders and leading the mares and stallions into battle with dangerous monsters and ancient foes! It was a lot different than the usual tea parties with Sparkling, Mr. Binky the bear, and Princess Celestia, that was for sure. Though Princess Celestia would still show up sometimes, to give us commendations for a job well done. No, I never minded playing with Ordered. Our games and adventures made him so happy, and that filled [i]me[/i] with so much warmth and happiness! I [i]do[/i] wish, however, that he’d been a bit less rough in his playing. And that he’d get Sparkling’s permission to borrow me before doing so. Because my owner most certainly [i]did[/i] mind when he ‘borrowed’ me. (Sparkling would claim he was ‘stealing’ me. I always felt that was a very harsh term, however. After all, I loved both of them so [i]very[/i] much, how could I consider spending time with either of them ‘stealing?’) Ordered’s roughness did cause quite a row between them one time, when a bit of… vigorous play resulted in one of my seams getting popped. I remember how scared I was when some of my stuffing started to come out. Ordered was worried too, I could tell. But nowhere near as frightened and upset as Sparkling was. As soon as she found out, she rushed me to her parents, tears in her eyes. Thank goodness Miss Sparkling’s Mom was so good with a needle and thread. She had me restuffed and sewn back up in no time, no worse for wear! Well, okay. If I’m being honest, I was a [i]little[/i] worse for wear. My fur was getting a bit worn in places, where I’d been hugged and nuzzled. My tail had lost a few threads over the years, and had accumulated a few minor stains here and there. And my left button eye was beginning to work loose. But all in all, I felt I was in [i]excellent[/i] shape! And I wouldn’t have traded a single hug or cuddle for a perfectly new body! Besides, Sparkling didn’t care if I was a little worn. She was still my best friend, and that was all that mattered. [hr] Sparkling was a lot more careful with me after that. I spent most of my time up on a shelf in her bedroom, out of Ordered Rank’s reach. I appreciated her care and concern, I truly did. But it was awfully quiet up there. Sparkling and I hardly talked anymore, and almost never played games or went on adventures. It was… peaceful. So I stayed quiet and I watched as Sparking grew bigger and bigger. Things changed. She painted her room new colors. Pictures of flutter-ponies and castles were replaced with posters for something called ‘colt-bands’ and fashion models. And Sparkling spent more and more time out of the house, and less in her bedroom with me. When she entered the room with a cardboard box one day, I wasn’t worried. We’d gone through this several times over the years, when Sparkling felt it was time for a change. Other toys and dollies were boxed up and moved out as furniture was shifted around. But I was always put out on her bed to watch, and returned to pride of place on her shelf. But not this time. This time she picked me up and smiled at me. Then she hugged me close. “Goodbye Molly.” she whispered. And then she gently lowered me into the box. [hr] I didn’t, [i]couldn’t[/i] understand it. We were best friends, weren’t we? Had I done something wrong? And if so, what? If there were answers to be found, they weren’t in the box with me. And so I rested. And waited. [hr] Eventually my new home rustled and rumbled once again. And when the box was finally opened I looked up to see the faces of Mister Sparkling’s Dad and Miss Sparkling’s Mom once more. Though they looked… older and a bit more careworn than I recall them being when last saw them. “Look honey, it’s Sparkling’s old doll! What was her name again?” Mister Sparkling’s Dad carefully extracted me from the other toys in the box. “Molly, dear. Her name is Molly. Remember how inseparable they were when Sparkling was a filly? Awwww, it was so adorable.” She sighed. “They grow up so fast.” “They sure do. I’m sure Sparkling would want to hang onto her, if she knew we’d found her...” Mister Sparkling’s Father trailed off, and I could feel my heart fluttering in my stuffing. Of course Sparkling would remember me! We were best friends! “I’m sure she would. But the poor thing would just end up in a box again someday. Molding away in the attic. “Right you are, dear. Better to donate her, so she can make some other filly happy.” And with that happy thought, I found myself nestled into a different box, and once again sealed up in darkness. [hr] I really didn’t know what to think about this new change in circumstances On the one hoof, I was being separated from Sparkling Dreams. Sparkling was my best friend! No, my [i]whole world![/i] But… I’d [i]already[/i] been separated from her. For a long time even. Clearly I had done [i]something[/i] wrong. But maybe… Maybe I’d get a second chance? Surely if I could figure out what I’d done wrong with Sparkling, I could fix it this time! My stuffing fluttered with excitement at the thought! [hr] My box passed through several sets of hooves after that. They were all kind and gentle, but none of them were my new best friend. They were all older stallions and mares, and they all spent a few moments examining me, separating me out from one pile of dolls and into another before moving me on. Eventually I ended up in yet another box with a hoofful of other dollies and toys. And the pony that opened the box this time was an old, matronly mare who smiled down on us. I liked her smile. It was warm. “Oh, the little colts and fillies will be so happy to see all of you.” She murmered, before carrying us into the next room. “Children!” I heard her call. “Come gather round! Some kind souls have donated new toys for you to play with!” I couldn’t see anything but the ceiling from my vantage point, but I could hear the scrambling of hooves. [i]lots[/i] of little hooves. I will admit to having been puzzled at the time. I was wondering how [i]anypony[/i] could have a family that big! Then my box was placed on the ground, and all I could see was a sea of happy, excited, smiling faces looking down on me. It was pandemonium for a few moments, as everypony reached down to grab something. But after a few moments of confusion, I found myself hugged between the wing and barrel of a little yellow pegasus filly. Sparkling had never held me like that, since she didn’t have wings. It was different. “Awwww! What a cute dolly!” My new owner (Banana Pudding, I learned her name was) gushed. Yes, it felt different to be held by her. But in all the important ways, it felt the same. [hr] I am embarrassed to admit that it took me some time to realize the nature of the institution I had ended up in. For the longest time I tried to figure out how one family had produced so many colts and fillies of such similar ages, all at once. It seemed… impractical. But it all made sense once I understood what an orphanage was. A place for orphans. A place for colts and fillies who had lost their moms and dads. A place [i]filled[/i] with foals who desperately needed love and cuddles and a friend to listen to their problems and dry their tears. I never regretted a single instant I spent with Sparkling Dreams or Ordered Ranks. I loved, and still love the both of them to the very depths of my plush, fluffy heart. But this place… This place was filled with [i]so many[/i] fillies and colts just like them. And all of them needed a friend, playmate, confidant, and snuggle buddy. And my greatest regret was that I could only be with one foal at a time. Oh, it wasn’t perfect of course. The orphanage was a far more… rough and tumble place than I was used to. Sometimes ponies even fought over who received the pleasure of my company! (Thankfully the scuffles never lasted long before Miss Open Heart broke them up.) And there were always new ponies coming in (and what a tragedy each new arrival was!) and old ponies leaving (A much happier, if somewhat bittersweet occasion.) I always tried to spend my time with the newest members of our little family. They always needed the most love and comforting. I think Miss Open Heart could see that, because I was often given to the new arrivals to help ease their transition. I remember each and every one of them, of course. Banana Pudding. Mystery. Double Shot, Magnum, Curly Fry, and so, so many others. I loved each and every one of them so very much, and I know they all loved me just as much in return. We spent so much time doing so many things! We explored jungles and dungeons and castles! We dressed up in fancy clothes and tried different hairstyles. We went to parties and balls and on picnics! And, of course, there were lots and lots of tea parties! Often attended by Princess Celestia, of course! I received many different names as well of course. The sorts of silly nonsense names fillies give dollies. Like Elisa and Belle and Jasmine and, oh, loads of others! (I’ve always remained partial to Molly though.) And sometimes, especially to the littlest ones, I was Momma or Dadda, the names whispered in their sleep as they snuggled against me in the lonely nights. There was no time spent sitting on a shelf, just watching. Not here. At least, not at first. Not for a long time, really. But eventually…. [hr] Eventually… All things come to an end I suppose. Years of grasping hooves have worn my fur smooth and bare. My tail is little more than a few threads. My left button eye is missing. Not that it has matched my right for ages. I’m covered in patches and needle holes, and my stuffing is squashed. And I’ve accumulated more than my fair share of stains over my years of service. As painful as it is to admit, I'm no longer in as great a shape as I once was. And then, yesterday, the day before Hearth’s Warming, some kind soul donated a huge box of brand new toys and dolls to the orphanage. I bear no ire or ill will towards the provider of such a wonderful gift. I feel only happiness that there are such generous ponies out there. And, of course, I don’t begrudge the children the chance to play with new toys and dolls! They deserve all the happiness and joy such a gift will bring them. But, with the arrival of [i]new[/i] toys, room must be made for them. And the only way to do that, is to clear out the old, worn out toys. Old worn out toys like [i]me[/i]. And so I found myself in a cardboard box for one last time. Carried outside with all the other discarded toys. Miss Open Heart (her face a bit more worn and wrinkled than when I had first seen her all those years ago) placed the box down beside the trashcan in the alley behind the orphanage. She looked down at me with a small, sad smile, and gave me one last pat on the head. “You’ve been good toys, all of you. You’ve made a lot of foals very happy. Thank you.” She whispered before turning and walking back inside. It was nice to be recognized, one last time. [hr] So now I lay here, in the place where all things eventually end up. Worn, ragged, and damp, surrounded by refuse, awaiting my final fate. I don’t regret my role in life. And I think I’ve made the best of the time I’ve had. I’ve loved and [i]been[/i] loved by so many foals. How [i]could[/i] I regret even a moment of that? I just wish I had some idea of what comes next. What am I supposed to do now? I’m still pondering that question when the sound of hoofsteps come down the alleyway. Which is rather strange. It’s Hearth Warming Eve. Surely the trash ponies are at home with their families tonight? “Well well well, what have we here?” A pair of antlers are suddenly hovering over my box. A pair of antlers framing a large, jolly reindeer’s face. “I knew I sensed something special, and it seems I was right, wasn’t I my little doll?.” [i]Hello there sir. It’s nice to meet you. But I’m sure you’re mistaken. I’m nothing special. Just a worn out old doll.[/i] I replied. “My, you’re certainly a polite one, aren’t you?” He smiled and chuckled, and his antlers glowed faintly as he levitated me before him. “But I assure you, you are something special indeed.” [i]Well, one [/i]must[i] be polite when one has a many tea parties with princesses as I have. But I really don’t see what’s so special about me. I’m just a doll.[/i] “Ah, but no doll is [i]just[/i] a doll to the child that loves them. And sometimes, with all that love, miracles happen. And a simple toy becomes something more. Something [i]special[/i].” [i]Oh.[/i] I took a few moments to consider that. [i]Well, even if that is true, how would anypony know a doll i special?[/i] "Well, in truth nopony 'knows' that a doll or toy is 'special.' Oh, they certainly [i]notice[/i] the difference, in their hearts. But only the youngest truly 'know.'" He smiled back down at me. "And [i]I[/i] know of course! But I'm hardly a Pony, now am I! And besides, knowing things like that is job! Ho ho ho! He laughed merrily, his cheeks bouncing as he smiled down at me. [i]Oh, I see. So if you know about dolls like me...[/i] I hesitantly continued. [i]Then do you know what happens to me now?[/i] “Oh, that’s easy my little doll. Now you can come back to my workshop with me. My reindeer will be so very happy to meet you and fix you. Why, you'll be as good as new in no time flat!” [i]Really?[/i] I could feel warmth and hope deep inside my worn out stuffing at the thought. “Really. And then you can return to bringing comfort and happiness to foals once more.” Mister Reindeer gently floated me to the saddlebags hanging on his sides, carefully placing me so that my head and forehooves were hanging over the edge. “So, what’s your name little dolly? I’m afraid I have quite a few stops to make this evening before I head back to my workshop, and I can hardly call you ‘Doll’ all night long.” [i]My name is Molly.[/i] I replied. [I]I know it’s a rather silly name, but it’s mine.[/i] Mister Reindeer just grinned and laughed. “Ho ho ho! With a name like ‘Kringle’ I can hardly call anyone else’s name silly, now can I Molly?” And then he touched a hoof to his nose, and we were airborne despite Mr. Reindeer’s conspicuous lack of wings. [hr] That was a year ago. And Mister Kringle was as good as his word. His workers were [i]very[/i] nice and kind. And very happy to see me! They made me a brand new body, just as good as my original. They’d offered to make me a different body. A porcelain doll perhaps, or an action figure if I had wanted it. But I declined. Porcelain and plastic were just too hard and too cold. I wanted to warm and soft. So little fillies and colts could snuggle up to me and hold me tight. I spent a whole year in the Workshop after they fixed me. But I wasn’t bored, oh no! Every day the Reindeer talked to me or played with me. And there were other toys there, toys like me! We talked every day, sharing stories about the ponies we’d met and loved, telling each other about the different places we’d been and the games we’d played. I learned a lot from the other toys. Laying here in the darkness of my box, I can hardly wait for a chance to put all I’ve learned to good use. It won’t be long now. I can hear the clippity-clop of excited little hooves running around outside. My fluffy little heart is pounding in excitement and anticipation. Soon I’ll have another chance to bring laughter and happiness to a foal’s life. And I know that even if I get worn out or damaged, Mister Kringle and his friends will always be there to fix me back up, so I can return to help those who need me. The sound of paper ripping is quickly followed by blinding bright light as my box is opened. And then I’m being squished against the barrel of an excited little filly. “Oh, she’s [i]wonderful![/i]” Warmth fills my stuffing. It’s good to be home.