"Twilight, there's an elephant in our kitchen." Twilight, reading on her throne, didn’t even bother looking up from her book. “No there isn’t, Spike.” Spike peeked his head back through the door he’d just come through. A loud trumpeting echoed through the halls of the castle. He came back out. “Twilight, there really is an elephant in the kitchen.” She sighed. “No, Spike, there really isn’t.” “It’s eating all the oatmeal.” She paused. “…The cheap stuff, or?” “The imported stuff you have to set aside portions of the state budget for.” “…Oh.” Setting her book down on arguably the most important coffee table in Equestria, she got up and walked over to the doorway, poking her head inside. After a moment, she withdrew. “Well, this is a problem.” “I told you.” “No, Spike, you’re missing the point here,” Twilight said. “I already knew the elephant was there.” Spike cocked his eyebrow. “Then why did you pretend it wasn’t?” “It’s a cultural thing.” He remained unconvinced. “…A cultural thing.” “Yes, Spike. Elephants have a very fascinating culture, with many varied and strict traditions. There are two very important ones: elephants must always travel in twos, and no one must acknowledge their presence.” “Acknowledging their existence violates their cultural traditions?” “Yes Spike. It’s very, very taboo.” Twilight said. “And could you imagine what it would mean if I, as a crowned princess of Equestria, were to do such a thing? It would be a political disaster!” “…You just didn’t want to acknowledge that you were wrong.” “No, Spike,” Twilight said, “I’m very serious. This is a matter of international importance. Princess Celestia has worked very hard to strengthen our relationship with the elephants over the past two centuries, and I am not going to ruin that!” “How did she negotiate relations with a people she can’t acknowledge the existence of?” “I… have no idea, but it probably required the kind of wisdom you can only gain after living for over a millennia.” “And probably a lot of tea.” “That too.” The two of them peeked back inside the kitchen for a moment. “He’s really tearing through those oats, isn’t he?” “Yep.” “…How much will those cost to replace again?” “More than we can afford this month.” “Right,” Spike said. “So, what do we do about him?” “That’s the thing, Spike, I’m not sure there’s anything we [i]can[/i] do. Not without causing an international incident.” “So what, we ignore it until it goes away? Give up on the oats?” “…I didn’t say that.” “So, what?” Spike asked. “You can’t have your oats and let him eat them too, you know.” “I could levitate them away from him.” “Wouldn’t that still mean you’re acknowledging that he’s [i]eating[/i] them? Or does that not count?” Twilight’s face scrunched up. “I have no idea.” “Could we maybe distract him somehow?” “We could try…” Twilight called forth the mighty arcane forces at her command, lighting her horn and weaving a delicate web of spellwork. A bang like that of a popping balloon echoed through the chamber. Twilight and Spike peeked their heads in again. “It worked, he’s looking—oh, wait, he went back to the oats.” They pulled their heads back. I think,” Twilight said, “We’re going to need a bigger distraction.” “I could go get Trixie,” Spike offered. “She’s the most distracting pony we know.” “…” “Yeah, I see your point. Can you do a louder one?” “Cover your ears.” Twilight once again charged her horn, this time unleashing a bang akin to a party cannon. Spike uncovered his ears. He could still hear the shot echoing through the halls. “The castle is really echo-y today.” “Quiet.” They peeked their heads back in. They peeked their heads back out. “Why did he even have earplugs?” “Tradition.” “Ah.” Another trumpet sounded from inside. “I think he just finished the oats.” “Sounds like it.” The approaching sound of lumbering footsteps added credence to this theory. Twilight and Spike made sure to look away from the elephant as it walked past them, Spike adding an innocent whistle just in case. When the elephant was well out of sight, they turned back to one another. “Well, that was a waste of time. Maybe we should have just ignored it until it went away.” “Hindsight is 20/20,” Twilight said. “Well, I’ve learned my lesson,” Spike said. “…I feel like there’s a joke here that we’re both missing.” “Oh good, I thought it was just me,” said the other elephant in the room.