"Applejack! Wait!"

AJ didn't, shoving through the flap of Pinkie's fortune teller tent. Resisting a powerful urge to stomp, she kept her eyes downcast and her hoofsteps steadily moving out into the autumn afternoon sunlight.

The others' voices swirled around her. "The nerve!" Nopony did scorned like Rarity. "I shall complain to the festival's organizers!"

"That would be me." Twilight's sigh was every bit as unmistakable as Rarity's huff. "I'm sorry, Applejack." Feathers draped across AJ's back. "We know you're not like that anymore."

"Maybe..." Fluttershy had a way of using silence that was all her own. "Maybe it was...a joke?"
 
"Ha!" And Dash of course crashed like cymbals. "That wasn't me laughing! That was a snort!"

"Wait!" The shout, in front of AJ this time, forced her head up and made her blink at Pinkie kneeling on the ground, her turban all askew and the ends of her scarf drooping. "I didn't mean it, Applejack! Honest!"

And as much as AJ wanted to tell her it was fine and they should head over to the food booths for cidar and boiled peanuts, she just couldn't. "Then why'd you say it?" she got out through clenched teeth.

"I didn't! I—!" Pinkie slapped her hooves over her mouth, then she was leaping up, planting the top of her turban against AJ's chest, and shoving. "Back into the tent! We're gonna [i]fix[/i] this!"

"Pinkie," Twilight started.

But Pinkie whirled, her muzzle almost slamming into Twilight's. "I whim-whammed when I shoulda zim-zammed is all! Don't go away!" Spinning back, she pushed her head into AJ again, the scrabbling of her hooves doing nothing but digging little trenches in the dirt. "Come...on! Let's...go!"

AJ blinked, then blew out a breath. "Fine." She relaxed and let Pinkie push her backwards into the tent. "But I don't—"

"Shhh!" Springing forward, Pinkie pressed her snout to AJ's ear. "You've gotta understand, Applejack, that it's sometimes really hard being me! So I—" She made little choking noises. "I cheat a little!"

Then Pinkie was tumbling over to the crystal ball table in the middle of the tent. "Promise me you won't say anything!" And before AJ could even open her mouth, Pinkie swung the tabletop open like the hinged door of a cellar.

In the space underneath the table sat a gray mare with a mane the color of stewed prunes, her eyes widening behind little half glasses. "My cousin Mince Pie," Pinkie said, her face going even pinker. "She's one of my writers." Her blush hardened into a glare. "And you'd think by now that she'd know our audience!"

"Pablum!" Mince Pie had a voice like the ponies AJ had met living among the Oranges in Manehattan. "We could bring true depth and angst to these ponies' lives if you'd let me—"

"Depth? [i]Angst?[/i]" Pinkie flailed a hoof in AJ's direction. "Applejack has family and friends and trees and pigs and cows and sheep who just plain love her, and you feed me a line telling her she's gonna end up alone? That's not just inaccurate; it's mean!"

Mince Pie sniffed. "Life is tragic."

"I'll say." Pinkie jerked the hoof over her shoulder. "Get back to the party cave. I'll have your severance check later tonight."

The other pony's jaw dropped, then snapped shut. Eyes clenched and nose in the air, she turned and slid into the darkness under the table.

Pinkie was shaking her head. "Edgy is one thing. Clueless is another."

Unsure what to say, AJ went with a wisecrack. "So, my [i]real[/i] fortune is: never hire relatives."

"Exactly." Pinkie started back, all the hardness vanishing from her face. "Wait! That doesn't work for you, either! Lemme get wunna the other writers up here, and—!"

"'Sall right." AJ stepped forward and put an arm around Pinkie's withers. "But how 'bout I predict you're taking the afternoon off?"

A grin blossomed over Pinkie's face. "Signs point to 'yes'!" She leaned over the hole. "Folks? You're off the clock! But gag meeting tomorrow morning at six!" Flipping the tabletop back into place, she pulled off her turban and tossed it beside the crystal ball. "Y'know, you're pretty funny. How'd you like to join my staff?"

"Mighty neighborly of you, Pinkie." AJ tapped the side of her snout. "But you outta know by now I work alone."

Pinkie groaned. AJ laughed, lowered her head, pressed it to Pinkie's side, and pushed her out to where the others were waiting.