Don’t worry friends. I have a story in a warm and familiar setting that will whisk you away from the drudgery of everyday existence. Yes, indeed, I am talking about a story set in the magical universe of the fourth incarnation of a 1980s toy line designed by marketing executives to sell plastic figures to pre-teen girls. A perfect setting to set aside the contemporary cynicism of the corporate era and engage in carefree fantasy, don’t you think?
	
Not to worry, friends, I have thought this tale out through and through. I am sure you will like it. It is inoffensive, apolitical, unchallenging, uncontroversial, and most importantly written for you, my dear friends. I am here to entertain, after all, and entertain I shall! 
	
Our story shall start with the least offensive of inoffensive horse protagonists, the winged unicorn Twilight Sparkle. She shall start her adventure in the library, rummaging through her many books. What could it be, my friends? What could call our heroine, Twilight Sparkle to adventure? Will she find something in the books? 
	
No! Of course not! She will be interrupted by a knock on the door. But by who? 
	
The miniature dragon called Spike, ever fitting in a world of a miniature horses, answers. 
	
Huzzah dear friends! It is the winged horse Fluttershy, a fan favorite. I will allow you a brief moment to applause and be grateful for her inclusion in this story. 
	
Okay, applause time has ended. 
	
Fluttershy says the exposition in her characteristic Fluttershy speech patterns full of long pauses and ums that have endeared her as a character to a population of millions. But what shall the exposition be this time, dear friends? What it is that Fluttershy asks of her dear friend Twilight that thrusts her into a lightweight and functional but ultimately insubstantial plot?
	
But of course! There is a villain on the loose in a far-off land that will never be referenced again after this excursion. A fantasy land within a fantasy land to get that extra bit of fantasy out. How exciting dear friends! How fresh!
	
Twilight, of course, raises her apprehension. She had a busy schedule of studying books today, and perhaps the residents of FarOffLandia could settle their own problems for once and not needlessly entangle her in their affairs. 
	
“No!” Fluttershy all but yells to keep in character. “We have to help FarOffLandia because it might tangentially affect us!” 
	
Twilight considers this a moment before reluctantly packing her things. 

[hr]

FarOffLandia is old but new, new but old, familiar yet unfamiliar. Similar enough to fit within the current continuity of the horse universe while still being comfortably different to avoid being called a rip off. Not that I would rip anyone off, dear friends.

The Six Horse Band has traveled to FarOffLandia and met its Queen. The Queen explains that they have to defeat the villain. 

The rainbow pegasus, Rainbow Dash, acts confident beyond her abilities. 

The prissy unicorn, Rarity, acts skeptical about their abilities to undertake this undertaking. 

The shy Pegasus, Fluttershy, doubts their chances.

The unpredictable horse, Pinkie Pie, does something random that lightens the mood. 

The honest horse, Applejack, gives a short speech earnestly explaining their intent to do their best despite the tribulations ahead.

Twilight affirms the honest horse. 

Starlight Glimmer is there if you want, I guess. 

But of course, dear friends, it is one thing to say that you shall defeat the villain, another to do it. The journey to the villain’s lair is arduous indeed! Many times the horses feel they shall fail, but they do not, for they are just and righteous horses. 

The villain’s lair is a castle that is available for purchase at your local toy store. 

The villain delivers his villainous monologue about being evil and things. He is very evil, but there is also a hint that he may be redeemed. 
The horses prepare for combat! The first round of the battle goes poorly, with many colorful horses being tossed into walls and such. 

As all seems lost, the horses remember: The Elements of Harmony! Of course! 

With a rainbow-colored powerup, the horses band together as friends and possibly lovers to defeat the villain. Huzzah! The villain is defeated, yet safely incapacitated and not at any risk of dying. 

And thus the Band of Six Horses returns to the Queen. There is a party celebrating friendship. 

And that is my tale, dear friends. Friends? Are you still there? I'm so alone.