In the beginning, there was nothing. And I do mean [i]nothing.[/i] Or so Mother told me, anyway. It sounds all terribly dull, really. Oh, sure, the [i]first[/i] time you hear about  there being [i]literally[/i] nothing – no time, no space, not even the idea of time or space – it sounds interesting, but it only a takes a few moments to realize just how incredibly dull it would be. No planets. No stars. No ponies. No [i]me[/i].

No, it was terrible.

Fortunately, things got better. I guess when things get [i]that[/i] boring, it starts to wrap back around and become interesting again.

Anyway, somehow – no, I don’t know how – Mother came to be, along with a bunch of rocks and gas and some other things. It is a good thing she doesn’t need to breathe, it would have been rather unpleasant otherwise. I don’t know why you ponies have to breathe; it really makes no sense to me. You have magic; why can’t you just live on that? Eating, drinking, breathing – it all just seems so pointless to me.

Oh, where was I?

Ah, yes, Mother.

Well, you see, she thought this was boring too. And so, her first thought was what anyone’s first thought would be – to start setting things on fire.

No? That isn’t your first thought? Hmph. Honestly, I’m not sure how you ponies [i]survived[/i] without me.

 Anyway, yes, she started setting things on fire. But not ordinary fires – oh, no. They didn’t last very long out there in the void of space. No, she started setting the gas on fire, and keeping it on fire, by bunching it all up into stars.

Of course, that was fun for a [i]while[/i], but soon enough, she got bored with [i]that[/i], too. So she tried to do a bit of landscaping. A bit of rock here, a bit of dust there, and – voila! A planet!

She made a few of them – actually, more than a few. Quite a lot of them, really. Big ones, small ones. Ones covered with ice, others covered with water. A few with giant rings around their middle – yes, really. Rings. No, no, not metal ones; they’re different. More like Frisbees, but without the middle.

Yes. No, really, I can show you. You have a spell for breathing in space, right? [i]No?[/i] Well then, I suppose you’ll just have to take my word for it, now won’t you?

Anyway… Mother was getting bored again – planets are all well and good, but they are rather [i]boring[/i] on their own. Rocks and dirt are only so fun for so long. So she started making things – living things. No, nothing like you at first - moss, fungus, that green stuff that grows in ponds, little squirming things that you can only see if you really squint your eyes, trees that grow hot dogs and golden apples; you know, that sort of thing.

Then she made me. Oh, yes, I told you I would be in here somewhere, didn’t I? Well, in any case, she made me, and she told me that I was in charge now. I was supposed to “look after” the planet, while she went off to do… something else. Honestly, I think she just got bored again and wanted to try something new. No, I don’t know what.

Do you know how boring it is to watch slime grow for a million years? Of course you don’t. But I do. It was [i]dull[/i]. So I thought I’d make things more interesting. A bit of magic here, a bit of chaos there… oh, things were getting better. But it took so [i]long[/i]…

So I stepped outside of time for a bit. Skipped a few turns, made it straight to the future. At first I was happy! Things were so complicated! But I quickly discovered none of you had [i]any[/i] idea [i]I[/i] was supposed to be in charge! Worse, you were all trying to make things so [i]orderly[/i]: building castles, growing crops. You know, all the boring things you ponies do.

So I thought I’d liven things up a little. You know the rest from there.

[hr]

Twilight shook her head as she walked away from Fluttershy’s cottage, Spike walking along beside her.

“So, uhm, do you think any of that was true?”

“I don’t know Spike. It would explain [i]some[/i] things. But really, everything coming from nothing? That seems a little made up, don’t you think?”