[/center]Everywhere he turned, he was met with a white world that started nowhere and led right into eternity.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]It was cold, so very cold. He could no longer feel his claws or spikes, nor could he muster the strength to belch flames or cry out for help. Not crying-out for aid would have helped him much, as his voice would have been drowned out by the vicious roar of the icy winds that now tore at his every scale, numbing everything save the one thing that pained him the most: his heart.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]With one final step, he collapsed. Teeth chattering, he quickly curled up into a ball to try and retain some warmth. Wrapped around his neck was an orange scarf, knitted by hoof and tenderly cared for by an angel, or so he told himself. It was about the only thing that was keeping him warm as the creeping iciness claimed his senses.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Instinctively, he wrapped his claws around the orange scarf, wishing the warmth of its maker could come and save him. He couldn’t help but cry as he remembered how he had ended up in this predicament; how he had lost the one he loved above all else…[center]
[/center][center]
[center][b][u]Lavender[/u][/b][/center]
[center][b][u][/u][/b][/center]
[/center]Spike breathed deeply as he followed Twilight, boxes upon boxes of decorations for Heart Warming’s day tightly held in his claws. He didn’t need to worry much about exerting himself, for he had put on a couple of extra inches since last year’s celebration. Around his neck rested a bright orange scarf, one Twilight had diligently made by hoof over the expanse of several weeks, just for Spike. It was by far the best gift he’d received, one he promised himself to treasure for as long as he could.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]At that thought, he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. The notion of growing up terrified him more than anything else.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]It’d already been a year since the Crystal Empire incident, and he had put on a few extra inches since. Normally, every youth dreamed of the day he or she grew to adulthood, had his rite of passage, earned their place in society, found someone they loved, got married, and had children. For many, it was a dream. This wasn’t the case for Spike. For the young drake, growing old only held dread, as every year he put on brought him closer to seeing his worst nightmare become a reality. . .[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Nearly a year ago, inside the Crystal Empire Palace, a door had opened to something terrifying, both in its reality and its sheer inevitability. To this day, it remained more terrorizing to Spike than every villain he and the six elements had faced so far, every situation he and the six had endured, and every uncertainty than he and the six had faced.[center]
[/center]He could still recall the vivid images in his mind’s eye: Twilight, eyes full of hate and indifference, no longer loving him, sending the ‘monstrous dragon’ away from her home and her life, what few belongings he owned scattered across the ground, dirt and mud soiling everything. Hot tears streaming down his face as he desperately tried to understand why Twilight would turn so cold towards him, why she had stopped loving him. Him pleading on his knees with her, begging for an answer as he weaved promises of change into a tapestry that would have made the most hardened of souls do a double take at its magnificence.[center]
[/center]None of those things had done anything in that vision. He had only seen Twilight’s gaze grow the colder towards him as she had kicked him off of her and, without a single hesitation, shattered everything he had ever known, everything he had ever cared for with a single look that spoke loud and clear: ‘you’re too monstrous for me to love anymore. Leave and never come back.’[center]
[/center]Then, the door had slammed shut, and Spike had faced Twilight’s door, now shut tight with tears streaming down his face. The vision had faded then, and he was embraced by she who loved him above all else just when he felt his most shattered. Despite himself, he had begged Twilight for a promise:  promise to never send him away. He had continued to cry nonetheless, for deep down, he knew Twilight couldn’t keep that promise.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Spike choked back a slight sob, eye somewhat watery. Without Twilight, he was nothing.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He quickly shook his head, sucking back the growing anxiety. He snuggled close to the scarf as he looked at Twilight, who cantered ahead of him, books floating next to her beautiful dark lavender hair, her lips rosy and moist. Once again, he swallowed a lump. The longer he waited, the higher the chances that he would lose all will, or worse, lose her. He had to tell her how he really felt today.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]But, how could he?[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He slowed his pace, closing his eyes as regrets poured into his mind. For nearly three years, he’d been foolishly seeking the affections of the wrong mare.  [center]
[/center]	[center]
[/center]Rarity had been, in his opinion, the single most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes upon. Her flawless coat, eyes that shone like the gems he adored so much, and lips that glistened in the light like flawless crystals; all features that had made her the one mare he’d seek to the ends of the earth.[center]
[/center]Or so he had told himself.[center]
[/center]Yet, as the years passed, she rejected his love time and time again. It wasn’t till he was a bit older that he realized that Rarity was, in many ways, unobtainable.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]At first, his heart could not take the truth, wishing it desperately to be false. He attempted to change who he was, what he was, yet the mare he believed to have loved so much continued to remain just beyond his reach.[center]
[/center]When she finally fell in love, not with him, but another stallion, Spike felt as if his world had been utterly shattered. He had been left without something to love, something to strive and improve upon: a heaven to aspire to.[center]
[/center]He fell into sorrow, feeling broken, almost as if he had lost the very will to keep on living.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]But no matter how low he had fallen into his own sorrow, Twilight had been there for him, to comfort him at night, to ease his sorrow at day, when not even when the closest thing to a mother he had, princess Celestia, could be there for him.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Twilight had been there. She’d always been there, and would always…[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Spike’s lips curled upwards ever so slightly as he recalled their childhood together. Twilight’ favorite game growing up had been princess and monster. Twilight had naturally taken the role of the titular princess, always in distress and in need of a rescuer. Her brother, Shining Armor, took the role of the brave knight in silver armor, ready and willing to march into the maws of Tartarus itself to save the princess. Spike, at first at least, had played the role of terrible monster, jealously guarding the princess that had caught his fancy.[center]
[/center]Spike couldn’t help by giggle at the memory. It had been a silly game in hindsight really, one that casted him in a rather bad light at first. Still, he had enjoyed it, as it had been innocent and carefree.[center]
[/center]Then Shining left for the Guard Academy, and Spike graduated to the role of knight, Smarty Pants taking the role of the monster.[center]
[/center]To commemorate his promotion, he had fashioned himself a suit of cardboard, which he had diligently painted silver. He even had made himself a small sword out of wood with which to fight the monster. Sure, he had been nervous in his first ‘mission,’ but once he had gotten into the rhythm, he had become the perfect ‘gentledragon.’ From that day on, Spike became Twilight’s ‘shining drake in silver armor,’ protecting her from all manner of foul imaginary beasts, and even a few not so imaginary ones. Spike’s brow slightly hardened as he recalled how a group of four bullies jealous of Twilight’s role as the princess’s protégée had terrorized her. Without hesitation, he had charged them all, caring not how much they beat him. He was reminded of his stand against the three Diamond dogs, except that he had succeeded against the bullies. Sure, he had come out of it with a few scrapes and bruises, but the bullies had been turned away, and never bothered Twilight again, not when she had a brave knight protecting her well being. Spike recalls how he had held her in his arms, and how he had hugged her, attempting to ease some of her pain. Though she had been weeping, being held in the arms of her brave knight brought a wide beam to her lips. She had then rewarded her brave silver knight with a kiss on the cheek before she had embraced him.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He couldn’t help but sigh at the memory. Back then, it’d been little more than a simple peck on the check. Now, he realized it had been more than just that. He should have known then that he and Twilight were meant to be. He closed his eyes, realizing the path life had taken. Now, instead of being together as they should have been, he was afraid of what he felt and what it could do to the two of them. That was the reason he had shut his emotions away and they stayed close for nearly seventeen years. That’s why he had sought Rarity’s affection, because in his young foolish mind, he had still longed for the one unicorn he told himself he couldn’t be with for reasons he himself didn’t fully understand, and that’s why Rarity’s final rejection had opened his eyes to the truth.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Now, he was ready to finally speak that truth. He had to before it tore him apart and drove him further away.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]The pair entered the library, and after some hot chocolate to ward off the cold winter chill, the two started decorating. It took them nearly two hours, the pair conversing about many things, most trivial, some holiday related, and a few about what the coming year held. The last bit of conversation held the most weight, as Twilight spoke of what the future held for them all. It had been only a matter of time before the conversation veered towards Rarity, and Spike’s recent heartbreak with her. The sudden shift had caught Spike somewhat unprepared, and had found suddenly thrust with emotions he wished he could put behind him.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Naturally, Twilight had been there to comfort the young drake when his emotions finally got the better of him. Spike was brought to an embrace by his dear friend and mentor, taking in the softness of her coat and the warmth of her body, both of which had soothed him. Spike again recalled their childhoods and just how close the two been before they had started to drift apart. Twilight continued to comfort spike, running a hoof down his head as he whispered kind words, of how which was how she would never leave him.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Finally, spike was unable to hold back his feelings any more. He lets go of his childhood friend, and in the most sincere tone he can muster, begins to tell her how he feels about her; how he has always felt, and all the events that led him to realize it.[center]
[/center]The talk lasted but a few minutes, Spike bringing up their childhood, his longing, and his mistakes. It all ended with Spike, looking deep into Twilight’s eyes, as he whispers words he should have said long ago yet never had the courage to utter until now:[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]‘Twilight, I love you.’[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Twilight, for her part, looked on at spike with a mix of surprise and terror. She had then taken a step back, shaking her head as the words had sunk in. Her eyes watered at the truth, yet she found herself torn.[center]
[/center]Spike’s eyes had widened as Twilight had taken a deep breath and looked at him with a slightly cold gaze. Before he had a chance to speak again, she let out a sigh and gazed at him with eyes that spoke louder than words ever could. In then, the young drake could see Twilight’s reply to his confession in her lavender tone.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]His heart shattered.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Twilight had slowly closed her eyes and turned away from him, her once welcoming warmth all but gone as everything became as cold as the snow outside the library.[center]
[/center]Spike, despite holding back his tears, could feel his body slowly lose its will to stand as realization struck him. Had had made attempts to get Twilight’s attention by walking up to her and placing a claw on her shoulder, but she made neither motion nor reply, instead sitting there, looking down at the floor, as if to avert her gaze. Spike almost left as if he was some monster who had foolishly fallen for his captive maiden, and just like a monster, how could the maiden ever love him back?[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He quickly backed away, horrible images of Twilight not only rejecting him, but rejecting his very existence, playing in his mind, creating a sense of paranoia that he couldn’t control. He had grabbed hold of his scarf, its warmth the only comfort in the now chilling air. Before rationality could kick in, he turned around and walked towards the library door. He whispered an apology too soft for anyone but himself to hear before he had opened the door and stepped outside. He no longer had a home, a person to care for him; he had ruined both. The small hopeful part of himself had expected an embrace to come, signaling that all was well, but none came. With a sigh, Spike had closed the door slowly, stepping into the chilling air of winter. He didn’t wait long; soon as the door was closed, he took off, his sprint fueled by his sorrows. Where exactly he headed he didn’t know nor care. He felt like weeping, but held back his tears for as long as he could; instead closing his eyes as he raced away from the library, away from Ponyville, out into the fields that were white, untouched by anypony. From a distance, all anyone would have seen would be a small blur of Lavender against the otherwise pristine white: something that didn’t belong, nor ever would.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Finally, after what felt like hours of running, Spike let himself stop before finally weeping freely. He stood there, watching the sky darken, pondering what he had done. The thought of being without home and without someone to love hit him like a bag of bricks. He felt like collapsing, but some part of him wished for him to stand. He just stood there, pondering of the course his young life had taken.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He never saw the blizzard coming. By the time it hit, it was too late for him to turn back.[center]
[center]*              *              *[/center]
[center][/center]
[/center]Everywhere he turned, he was met with a white world that started nowhere and led right into eternity.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]It was cold, so very cold. He could no longer feel his claws or spikes and could longer muster the strength to belch flames or cry out for help. Not that screaming for aid would have helped him much, as his voice would have been drowned out by the vicious roar of the icy winds that now tore at his every scale, numbing everything save the one thing that tortured him the most: his heart.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Though he tried to make his way back to Ponyville, the white made it all but impossible to tell just where he was going. Soon enough, he himself wasn’t even sure where he was heading. He could be walking further away for all he knew. Every step, sapped what was left of his strength, his vision dimming as the cold started to claim his every bodily function.  [center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]With one final step, he collapsed. Teeth chattering, he quickly curled up into a ball to try and retain some warmth. Wrapped around his neck was an orange scarf, knitted by hoof and tenderly cared for by an angel, or so he told himself. It was about the only thing that was keeping him warm as the creeping iciness claimed his senses.[center]
[/center]Instinctively, he wrapped his claws around the orange scarf, wishing the warmth of its owner could come to save him. Then he remembered, and couldn’t help but cry.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He looked on at the white world before him, what little senses he had slowly going dark. One last time, he reached a claw towards the emptiness, hoping to see anyone that could help. He called out Twilight’s name, voice softer than a whisper.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He dropped his arm, vision all but gone, and warmth all but taken from him. Within seconds, Spike succumbed to the iciness around him, his lavender form slowly being buried in the white.[center]
[center]*              *              *[/center]
[/center]Twilight sat on her haunches, utterly stunned by Spike’s revelation. She tried to muster the will to say anything at all, but found her voice silenced by her own inner turmoil. Instead, she closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. She’d waited such a long time for Spike to say that phrase with more than just the usual connotation that came with being close friends; she’d seen his eyes, had felt the intensity of his words.[center] 
[/center]She should have seen the signs. Growing up, the pair had been inseparable. Yet, something happened to them. Was it them simply growing up? Had it been the realization that they were far too different to be together? Or had it simply been a heinous case of miscommunication?[center]
[/center]Whatever the reason, she and Spike had drifted apart, becoming mere friends rather than what their hearts told them to be. Seventeen years the two wasted, hoping one or the other would finally make their move, and all of that time, she had wasted.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Now, all Twilight could do was stand there like an idiot. Her mind told her to move, speak, do anything other than just sit idly by. Foolishly, she turned around, not knowing what to say or do. She just sat there, destroying everything, breaking the heart of he who was most precious to her. The world seemed to become a blur, the color lavender spinning all around.  If only she could swallow her fears and reservations, embrace the one who had never left her side, who had watched her when she was sick, who had experienced all of her joys, had been there to provide a strong shoulder to lean on when things got bad. She cried as she berated herself. She was about to lose her chance at true happiness. She had to act; she had to do something.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Suddenly, the sound of the door softly shutting perked her ears, snapping her out of her daze and forcing her to turn around to face an empty room.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Spike was gone.[center]
[/center][center]
[/center]Twilight sat there, facing the door for what felt like hours, her mind racing at a thousand miles. She felt weak, she felt broken, and above all else, she felt like scum. Her insecurity had caused her to lose Spike, he who would hold her when no other pony would or could. Her knight in silver armor. . .[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]She closed her eyes, getting ready to weep. Then, she heard a racket coming from somewhere in the room. Twilight turned to face Pewee, Spike’s pet Phoenix, whom he had saved from three dragon bullies two years earlier. He was in great distress, pointing at the window in desperation. Twilight quickly raced to it and saw why Pewee was so riled-up. Outside, a fierce blizzard raged, one that seemed to have come out of nowhere. It was so strong that it made visibility all but impossible.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Twilight’s eyes widened in absolute horror. Spike… he was outside in that storm, with nothing on him but a scarf she had made for him. She felt her stomach grow cold; Spike was out there, in that storm, all alone.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Without even thinking, Twilight magicked her door open and raced into the storm, Pewee following closely, providing not only light, but warmth from the terrible blizzard. She ran as fast as her hooves would allow. She wouldn’t lose Spike.[center]
[center]*              *              *[/center]
[center][/center]
[/center]Spike stood in a white void, all of his pains mysteriously gone.  He saw nothing to tell him where he was, or why he was there; only a white oblivion that stretched on for eternity.[center]
[/center]He looked down at his own body, and nearly jumped out in fear. His coloring was missing, instead being almost as white as his surroundings. He closed his eyes, realizes what was happening. He’d heard stories, but never once believed then until now.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He was dead.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]As he stood in the middle of the great nothing, he couldn’t help but feel as if he should weep, yet found no real way of doing so. That was the real tragedy of it: he felt nothing. Was he doomed to spend an eternity floating in absolute nothingness? Was this what many ponies called ‘purgatory’?[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Spike closed his eyes and thought about the only thing he really cared about: Twilight. Instantly, he felt a new emotion fill his body: love. It brought some color back to him, but not quite enough to fill the nothingness around him.[center]
[/center]	[center]
[/center]Concentrating, he thought of his past experiences with Twilight, starting with his earliest childhood memory of meeting her for the first time, then following a progression as the two grew up under Celestia’s care. Finally, he found a memory he had all but forgotten about, one that filled him with more hope than he’d ever dared to imagine. To his great surprise, the image materialized before him.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He was now a full meter taller, his features more developed than before. In his claws, he held a bundle, one that shifted with life. He could hear faint breathing and feel the warmth from it. He approached and looked right into the protected bundle, wrapped in a piece of cloth he instantly recognized as the scarf he had been wearing around his neck, only expanded to serve as a blanket. He looked on at the infant held in his claws: her lavender tone, her mix of coat and scales, her beautiful purple eyes, her green spikes and light purple mane, and her light amethyst eyes. She was so beautiful, almost like an angel.[center]
[/center]                [center]
[/center]A new figure stepped into the light, one that Spike instantly recognized as Twilight, now looking a bit older than before, but just as beautiful, if not more so. She approached the baby, looking at her with eyes that showed great love. She turned to face the dragon, and the two brought their heads together in a loving nuzzle.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Had Spike been able to weep, he would have.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]As the memory faded, a new section of the void opened up, one that led to a bright, almost blinding light. It beckoned to him, filling him with warmth and security. A light that made him feel just as safe as Twilight had.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Slowly, he made his way towards it.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Then, he closed his eyes and stopped. He knew well what the light meant, and what would happen should he choose to go to it. Instead, he turned from it, looking down the white abyss, his will pushing him towards a new conclusion, a new goal. As he willed it, a new hall appeared, this one colored Lavender. It was one that filled him with pain and anguish, yet also filled him with hope. It was the one path he had to choose, and he knew it.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]He did a double take on the white light before heading down the Lavender path. He had too much to accomplish before he was ready to face that light once again.[center]
[center]*              *              *[/center]
[center][/center]
[/center]Spike slowly woke up to a bright white light. For a second, he felt as if he had taken the wrong path, but slowly, his vision started to sharpen, and he saw rows upon rows of books, as well as the light wood coloring of a place he was very familiar with.[center]
[/center][center]
[/center]Slowly he tried to stand, but found his body was far too numb to properly react. That didn’t last long, as feelings returned to him, and a dull, cold pain caused his senses to attempt to cope. The more sense he regained, the sharper the world looked. It didn’t take long for him to fully regain his feelings again, at which point he slowly stood from his sitting position, and came face to face with Twilight. Spike noted her face, paying extra attention to the damp marks running down her eyes, then to the rest of her body. It was then that he noticed the tell-tale sign of a struggle against the elements, for her hair was frizzled and somewhat frozen-looking, and her lips a slight blue hue.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]Carefully, Spike tried to speak, but his words were cut off when Twilight, breaking into fresh tears, tossed herself over him in a tight embrace, one that warmed the two up in ways no fire ever could. They stayed like that for some minutes, Pewee looking on with a cheerful face.[center]
[/center] [center]
[/center]The pair broke off, Spike looking deep into Twilight’s eyes; those beautiful amethyst eyes, so full of life and spirit. He felt tears swell in his own as he opened his mouth to speak. Instead, he only found a hoof pressed to his lips as Twilight gave him a teary understanding look.[center]
[/center][center]
[/center]Spike smiled, fully understand Twilight’s motion. The two brought their foreheads together. Neither of them had to say the words; they’d done so long ago. They shared an understanding that went beyond mere phrases, and instead became a sensation, something the two treasured above all else.[center]
[/center][center]
[/center]That Heart Warming’s eve, Spike and Twilight received the greatest gifts of all: each other.[center]