“What in the world is going on in here?” Twilight looked around her castle entryway as shock chased the travel weariness from her system. After all the craziness in the Crystal Empire, she’d been looking forward to a quiet evening curled up in her own bed with a book, but instead she’d returned to find the entire hallways crammed floor to ceiling with packages. They were packed in everywhere she looked, with scant inches between the stacks. In fact, even if she flew she wasn’t even sure how to get past them and into the castle itself. “Woah,” Spike said, peeking around her. “Did you order something? A lot of somethings?” he asked. With a quick jump he hopped onto the nearest stack and, producing a claw, began stripping the brown packing paper from one of the parcels. “Ooh, chocolate!” “Spike, wait-” Twilight began, but she was far too slow to come between the dragon and sweets. He was cramming them into his mouth before she even finished his name. “There must be something wrong here. I didn’t even get this many gifts after my coronation.” “Whas wong?” Spike said, then cleared his mouth with a giant gulp. “It’s just chocolate. Besides, here’s a note.” he grabbed a piece of paper out of the box. "'My dearest Princess Twilight Sparkle, I have been hoping to get to know you better ever since your coronation. I will be visiting Ponyville to purchase a summer retreat, perhaps we could meet over dinner? Sincerely, Earl High Horse.’” [i]Did… did somepony just ask me out on a date?[/i] The thought made Twilight stop in her tracks. Well, okay, maybe it wasn’t that far-fetched, but why so sudden? And what was with all the other packages? Spike took advantage of the pause to tear open another package. “Huh, this one’s daisies. And another note… about the same.” He looked at Twilight and shrugged. Any further investigations were interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. Almost grateful for the distraction, Twilight turned around and pulled the door open. “Welcome! I’m sorry it’s such a mess, but we just got back and-” “Wonderful, I made it just in time!” a suave voice interrupted her. Twilight blinked, focusing on the handsome blonde and white unicorn standing at her door. She vaguely remembered him from Canterlot and the Gala.. oh yes, Prince Blueblood. Rarity had certainly had a lot to say about him. She was just about to ask him what he wanted when he continued on like she wasn’t even there. “Pay no attention to those fools who think above their station,” he waved disdainfully at the boxes and wrinkled his nose. “The news was hardly out before counts and earls the realm over started having delusions of grandeur. Instead, please accept these tokens of my generosity.” He stepped aside, revealing a half dozen servants struggling under the weight of an enormous pile of boxes. “News? What do you mean?” Twilight asked “Why, Flurry Heart, of course,” Blueblood offered. “A full blooded alicorn princess, born of the union between an alicorn mare and a unicorn stallion. I dare say all of Canterlot has gone quite mad. At least madness is the only explanation I can think of for thinking they deserve such an honor.” “Wait… so you mean all this is because everyone wants to… marry me? For my foals?” “Well, I could hardly marry one of my aunts,” Blueblood stated matter of factly. Then he batted his eyelashes at her. Twilight’s mouth moved, but no words came out. “Oh dear, it looks like I’ve left you speechless. I fear I can have that effect on mares.” She slammed the door shut in his face. “That insufferable… Alright, Spike, let’s find somewhere to hide the packages until we can return them. I’ll think of some way to deal with Blueblood until this all blows over. Do you think anyone would care if I teleported him to Zebrica?” “Um, Twilight?” Spike responds. He was standing over the wrappings of another box. “I’m not sure that’s going to work. This one has a note saying he’s visiting Ponyville and looks forward to meeting you as soon as you’re back.” There was a second, much more ominous, knocking at the door. [hr] “Thanks for coming, Rarity,” Twilight said, pulling the door open for her friend. She took the opportunity to peek around the door at the ever growing crowd of stallions milling around outside the stallion-impermeable shield she’d set up. “I tried sending Spike out for groceries but they just mobbed him asking what kind of sweets I liked. Ugh, I wish this would just end!” “I dare say none of them are going to leave when they’re afraid of another winning you over,” Rarity said. “But… have you considered just picking one?” “[i]Pick one?[/i]” Twilight asked in shock. “Rarity, you know what they want, right?” “Heavens, I don’t mean marry one, Twilight,” Rarity said. “But if you agreed to dinner with one, the others would back off. Besides, they’re not all as bad as that boor of a prince.” She looked at the piles of gifts still on the ground. “See, the Duke of Trottingham is one of the most eligible bachelors in Equestria, and he sent you an original copy of Starswirl’s [u]Treatises On Abjurations[/u]! That shows he actually went to the time and effort to learn about your interests. It’s all very romantic.” “I don’t care about how handsome they are or how nice they act,” Twilight ground out. “None of this would be happening if it wasn't for Flurry Heart; they just want their heir to be an alicorn. And as long as it goes on, I’ll never know if they actually care about me or if the whole time they just thought of me as… as a pair of wings and a horn!” There was a few seconds of silence, and Twilight took a deep breath. She really shouldn’t be so hard on her friend, whose romantic aspirations were well known. She opened her mouth to apologize, but was interrupted by further knocking at the door. “Oh, they better not have found a way past the shield,” Twilight grumbled, turning to the door. “I’m sorry, but this is a bad time and- Trixie?” Twilight looked at the showmare, standing there at her door with a bouquet of flowers held in her magical grip, and her expression rapidly transmuted to one of horror. "The Great and Powerful Trixie just happened to be in the neighborhood, and she decided-" Trixie began. [i]This… this can’t be happening[/i]. "Stop. Trixie, even assuming I'm interested in mares, the two of us couldn't possibly have a foal." The unicorn grinned and tossed her head back. "Well, it just so happens that Trixie found a spell that lets two mares-" This time the door slammed so hard the entire castle shook. [hr] “Is this a bad time?” Princess Luna asked, ducking her head under the phantasm of a tuxedo’d suitor as he was blasted against the wall by a beam of purple light. “Princess Luna? Oh.. I’m dreaming.” Twilight looked around at the chaos, and with a sigh the rest of the dream faded to white mist. “I’m sorry. It’s been so rough lately, I guess my mind needed a way to vent.” “No apologies are necessary, Twilight Sparkle,” the princess replied. “Besides, the sentiment is… understandable.” “Does that mean things are just as bad in Canterlot?” Luna nodded somberly. “Indeed. The royal guard keeps out the obvious suitors while we hold court, but that does not stop them from sending trifles in the hopes of winning our favor, or assailing us at social events. I also understand that amateur astronomy is undergoing a renaissance of sorts; it would be quite flattering, were the circumstances different.” Twilight could only nod her head in commiseration. “How long do you think it will last?” “Unfortunately that is the purpose of my visit tonight,” Luna said. “Since the birth of Flurry Heart, My sister and I have been searching for any records of a natural born alicorn. Deep in the restricted section of the Canterlot archives, we found a dusty tome that described the birth of an alicorn foal to a union of an alicorn princess and a pegasus stallion.” Twilight gasped. “The restricted section? Did the birth involve dark magic?” “No, apparently the birth was accomplished in the normal way,” Luna reassured. “Unfortunately, they had a similar problem we now face; the princesses of the day were bombarded with marriage and betrothal offers. In many ways they had it worse, as these were the days before Equestria was united and many sought to use diplomatic pressure to gain their assent. There was also an issue with a love potion that became the foundation for the modern Hearts and Hooves day.” “That’s horrible,” Twilight replied, grimacing. “How did they deal with it?” “They arranged to hide any evidence of alicorn foals, burned all the records that mentioned it, and sealed the information in the restricted archives,” Luna replied. Twilight banged her head into the, thankfully soft, floor of the dreamscape. [hr] “I have never questioned the value of free press as much as I do right now,“ Twilight said morosely as she looked down at the crowd below. “Burning all the records is starting to look tempting.” The suitors had finally found a way to trick her anti-stallion shield spell, forcing her to relocate to Rainbow Dash’s cloud house. The worst part was the stallion who’d figured it out had actually seemed to expect her to swoon over his cleverness. “Maybe you could tell them you’re only interested in mares?” Rainbow Dash suggested. “Half of Equestria already seems to think I’m secretly involved with one or all of you five, and that doesn’t seem to be stopping them from trying,” Twilight replied. “Besides, if Trixie could find a spell to let two mares have foals I’m sure somepony else would, and then I’d be back where I started.” “Hum…” Rainbow Dash pondered for a moment, then raised a hoof in excitement. “There’s an ancient Pegasus story about a mare who didn’t want to get married, so she challenged all her suitors to a race, saying she’d only marry one who could beat her. Maybe you could do something like that with a magic contest?” “That’s the story of Atalampa, and a stallion ended up tricking her into losing and she had to marry him,” Twilight responded. "That's not exactly something I want to imitate." “Oh... I guess I never got past the race part,” the pegasus replied with a shrug. “No wonder my history teacher kept giving me those nasty looks.” Twilight sighed. “Besides, it’s not like I never want to get married. I just don’t want to get married to somepony that only sees me as a chance to have alicorn foals.” “Uh, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash began, a hint of urgency in her voice. “It’s not that much to ask! After all, Celestia’s been around for over a thousand years and Equestria managed just fine without everypony trying to marry her,” Twilight continued, mostly to herself. “There has to be some way to deal with this.” “Twilight!” Rainbow Dash shouted to get her attention. “You better get away while you can, I see a bunch of sky chariots heading this way.” [hr] “I just don’t know what to do, Zecora.” Twilight said, slumping down until her head rested on the table of Zecora’s cottage. With the courtiers adding sky chariots and cloudwalking spells to their arsenal, there was nowhere in Ponyville to hide from their attempted flirting. Fortunately none of them had decided to brave the Everfree Forest just yet. “They’re not mean or anything, but they’re not giving up.” The zebra nodded her head sagely, pushing a cup of tea over to the dejected princess. “If all they want is to rear an alicorn, perhaps you can show them their hopes are forlorn.” “That’s what the alicorns did a long time ago.” Twilight sighed. “But everyone in Equestria has heard the story of Flurry Heart and how we saved the Crystal Empire by now. We can’t exactly claim there’s no such thing as an alicorn foal anymore.” Zecora shook her head and paused as she reconsidered her words. “You are right that the story cannot be deleted, but what if they thought it would not be repeated?” “That… wait, that just might work!” Twilight said, excitement starting to enter her voice. “Everyone knows about Flurry Heart, but if we claimed Flurry Heart was only born an alicorn because of some special circumstances, then things would go back to how they used to be!” She bolted forward and wrapped the startled zebra in a tight hug. “Thank you! Thank you so much!” “I am flattered you think my idea is a winner,” she said with a bit of a blush. Then she smiled and gave Twilight a coy wink. “If you like it so much, why not thank me with dinner?” Twilight jerked like she’d been zapped with a shock spell. “I… but… I mean…” she stuttered, before noticing Zecora starting to chuckle. “Oh, don’t scare me like that!” she managed, laughing herself. “All those suitors had me so worked up, I panicked when it sounded like you were one too!” She just shook her head and grinned. “Anyways, I’m going to sneak back into Ponyville and start working on your idea.” As the pony left, Zecora watched her go. Once she was safely out of earshot, the zebra shook her head and chuckled again. “She saw a joke where there was not; Still, I think, it was worth a shot.” [hr] “Considering the above, as well as the widely accepted knowledge that alicorns must ascend rather than be born, it appears clear that the birth of the alicorn Flurry Heart can be linked to the deep love of her parents, famously strong enough to defeat a changeling invasion, resonating with the love magic affinity of Princess Cadence and the Crystal Heart.” Twilight dictated. “There, send that to the Journal of Natural Magics, and we just have to make sure it gets a lot of coverage.” Spike busied himself rolling up the scroll, then paused as a thought occurred to him. “Hey Twilight, Cadence is an immortal alicorn too. Won’t this cause her a lot of trouble in the future?” Twilight hesitated for a moment, then looked out the castle window at the crowd of suitors that was beginning to reassemble. “Everypony will probably have forgotten about it within a few years. Besides, Cadence is the princess of love; I'm sure she’ll know exactly how to handle any problems. Now let's hurry up and send it.” Two hundred years later, Cadence still hadn’t forgiven her.