It made no sense. One evening, Princess Twilight Sparkle went to bed in her castle. The next morning, she woke up [i]here[/i]. She'd been here three days, and it still seemed like a dream... or a nightmare, rather.

Today would have been Twilight's birthday party, ironically. Now there was only one Party, and the Party never stopped. [i]Ever[/i].

She spent most of her time in a very small, pink-covered cell. Even the ceiling and floor were pink. The only decorations in the room were a mirror on the wall by her cot, and a large poster of Pinkie Pie's face covering the opposite wall. Pinkie's  abstract, iconic image grinned from ear to ear. At the bottom of the poster were these words, emblazoned in neon fuchsia: "PINKIE PIE IS WATCHING YOU".

This was the morning of the fourth day. As usual Twilight woke to the sounds of Pinkie Pie's laughter over the loudspeaker. Although she didn't find any of this remotely funny, the constant guffawing forced her to stifle her own giggles from bubbling out of her throat.

Twilight Sparkle tried to pretend the laughter wasn't there, but it was inescapable. She tried ignoring it, but the noise wouldn't go away. It seeped into every pore of her body. She lay in her cot, holding her hooves over her ears, but the sound was so loud it hummed through the walls and rattled her bones.

Sadly, magic wasn't an option. There was a fake donut wedged around her horn that she couldn't remove. It was magenta, naturally. At least it matched the stripe in her mane.

Twilight didn't want to leave her cubicle. There were no exits in this madhouse. The only room she hadn't examined was room 101. But room 101 was guarded, and the "PLUSUNSAFE! DOUBLEPLUSFUNNY!" sign on the door made her think twice about looking inside.

Without her magic, all Twilight could do was lie in bed and hope for somepony to come rescue her. But the laughter was slightly less loud in the hallway outside. Just as every morning, after a few minutes of torment, Twilight stepped into the hallway.

Another familiar laugh: Twilight turned to see Rainbow Dash emerging from the adjacent cubicle, giggling wildly. "Hi there! It was Twilight, right?" she asked, before breaking into peals of laughter. "You should sit with me at cakefast today! It's plusgood to be unenemies! I'm so unstuffed—I guessthink what cakefast will be?"

Twilight sighed and rolled her eyes. "Cakefast—I mean, [i]breakfast[/i], is going to be cake. It's [i]always[/i] cake. Just like lunch, dinner, and 'midnight caketime'."

"Cakeunch and cakeinner," corrected Dash. "No use ponispeak is pooperthink, Twilight."

"No! I need to get out of here! I need to get away from the Party!"

Rainbow Dash gasped. "[i]PP! PP! Twilight Sparkle doubleplusungood horsecrimethink![/i]" she shouted.

[hr]

"Stop, please!" giggled Twilight, gasping for air after Minuette pulled off the laughing gas mask.

Minuette smiled and tickled Twilight's exposed tummy, causing her to shake against her bonds in the dentist's chair. "Any questions, silly pony?"

"Yes! Yes, just stop!" gasped Twilight. Minuette turned off the nitrous and ceased her assault.

Twilight breathed deep. "I need to speak to Pinkie Pie."

"You [i]are[/i] speaking to Pinkie," said Minuette.

"No. I mean... is Pinkie Pie a real pony?"

"Of course. The Party is real, and Pinkie Pie is the embodiment of the Party."

"Is she a real pony, like [i]me?[/i]"

"You are not a real pony, silly!" Minuette poked Twilight in the ribs, forcing out a giggle. "You're a [i]partypooper[/i]."

"What are you going to do?"

"Do you want a vision of the future?" asked Minuette. "Imagine a tiny hoof, booping a pony on the nose, forever."

She unstrapped Twilight and led her down the hall to room 101.

"What's in room 101?" asked Twilight, fearfully.

"Room [i]LOL[/i]," corrected Minuette. "The most wonderful thing in the world." She pushed Twilight inside. It was dark, and then lights came on...

"[i]SURPRISE!!! Happy birthday![/i]" shouted Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. Twilight's other friends looked angry.

"We're so sorry, Twilight," said Fluttershy, frowning. "We told her she went too far this time."

"We tried to stop them both, darling. But after they went to all this trouble, we figured we'd go along with it, and then it was too late," said Rarity.

Twilight fell to her knees and began to laugh maniacally. "[i]I love you, Pinkie!!![/i]" she screamed, rolling around on the floor.

Applejack facehooved and sighed. "Dammit, you two. I'll go fetch a therapist."