[i]Months ago, the search began for the best home cooks to compete in Equestria’s biggest cooking competition. They came out in the thousands, from all corners of Equestria. Canterlot. Fillydelphia. Manehattan. Cloudsdale. And now...Ponyville. “MasterChef is looking for the best amateur home cooks in Equestria.”[/i] [quote][i]I’m an apple farmer.[/i][/quote] [quote][i]I’m a retired Wonderbolt.[/i][/quote] [quote][i][b]I[/b] am the Great and Powerful—[/i][/quote] [i]“Do you have what it takes to be the next MasterChef?”[/i] [quote][i]I’m a royal guard.[/i][/quote] [quote][i]Iron Will is a self-help guru![/i][/quote] [quote][i]Muffins![/i][/quote] [i]All in pursuit of a place in the MasterChef kitchen. But only a hoofful will get a chance to prove themselves to three of the biggest names in the culinary world: Ram Elliot. “To me, a MasterChef is constantly innovative. Trying things with food no one would ever dream of.” Joe Bastallion. “The hallmarks of a MasterChef are elegance, sophistication, and finesse.” And Gordon Ram. “A true MasterChef cooks every dish as if their life depends on it. A MasterChef puts perfection on every plate.” Those who make it will have to endure some of the most intense and extreme challenges MasterChef has ever seen, pushing them to the breaking point.[/i] [quote][i]This is the worst! Possible! Thing![/i][/quote] [quote][i]This tastes terrible.[/i][/quote] [i]They’ll serve under the stars, as well as for them. Sapphire Shores. Impala Deen. Princess Luna. It’s a battle for the title of MasterChef, a quarter of a million bits, and their own cookbook. Only one will be crowned Equestria’s next MasterChef! Now, these home cooks will get the chance to present one dish that could change their lives forever. Just an elite few will win an apron and earn a spot in the next round of the competition. In the end, only one home cook will be titled...MasterChef.[/i] [hr] “Welcome to MasterChef,” Gordon Ram begins. He is standing on a slightly raised platform between his fellow judges. In front of them are seven contestants, each standing behind a cooking station. “Normally, I’d congratulate you on making it this far, but you’re the only ones who showed up today. You are about to do battle in MasterChef—the biggest culinary competition in the world today.” “At the end of all of this,” Joe Bastallion continues, “are fame, notoriety, and this.” He produces a large sack of coins and dumps it on the podium in front of him. “A quarter of a million bits. But if you came here just for the money,” he pauses and pushes the sack into a nearby trashcan, “then leave now.” Ram Elliot speaks next: “Money comes and goes, but what's inside this box will ensure your culinary legacy.” He pulls a small glass column with the show’s logo engraved on the top out of the box in front of him. “The MasterChef trophy,” Gordon says. “Look at it. That is the proof that your journey from home cook to MasterChef has been completed.” “At this moment, the winner could be any one of you,” Elliot adds. “We only care about one thing: what you put on the plate. If it’s bad, you’ll go home. But if that dish is extraordinary, you’ll be getting one of these,” he now lifts up a white apron with the show’s logo embroidered in red. “A MasterChef apron.” “Do you have what it takes?” Gordon asks. “Do you have the skill?” Elliot adds. “Do you have the guts?” Joe continues. “Do you have the passion to become Equestria’s next MasterChef?” Gordon concludes. The contestants start cheering and stomping their hooves. “Today, your challenge is to cook a [i]stunning[/i] signature dish. We want to see you on a plate. If we think your dish is good enough, you will earn a MasterChef apron, and move on in the competition. You will have only thirty minutes. Be sure to manage your time carefully. If you don’t, your dreams of being a MasterChef will end today. Good luck. Your time begins...now!” [hr] Gordon approaches the first cooking station. Behind it, a very pink mare is cooking tortillas and a mysterious red mash. “All right, who are you, and what are you making us?” he asks her. “I’m Pinkie Pie! And I’m making this meal just for you!” “Yes, that is how this works. But what is it?” “I’m making a chimicherrychanga!” “A what?” “A chimicherrychanga! It’s mashed up cherries in a tortilla that's deep fried. I made it up myself, but I’ve never actually [i]made[/i] it before. I just like it because ‘chimicherrychanga’ is a funny word! I could say it all day long. Chimicherrychanga, chimicherrychanga, chimicherrychanga!” “So this mash is made out of cherries?” Gordon asks as he spoons a bit of it out of her pan to taste. When he does, his face immediately starts changing colors and fire comes out of his mouth. “Maybe I put a bit too much rainbow in there. Here, this will help,” Pinkie says as she jams a can of whipped cream into Gordon’s mouth. “That is definitely too spicy,” Gordon pants. “Are you trying to impress me or hospitalize me?” “Well, if you were stuck in the hospital, I could visit you everyday and bring you treats and then we would become best friends by the time you left, but I remember how sad my friend Rainbow Dash was when she was trapped in the hospital, and I don’t like making anyone sad, so I wouldn’t want to do that to you.” “So is all of this whipped cream here to tone down the heat?” Gordon asks, motioning towards the large pile of cans of whipped cream. “No, that’s just there for me to eat. But I guess I [i]could[/i] use it in the chimicherrychanga. Thanks for the idea, Gordy!” Joe trots up to the next cooking station, where an orange mare is working her way through a large pile of apples. “You look familiar,” he says. “Have we seen you here before?” “Aw, shucks. Y’all remember me? Ah auditioned fer yer show last year too.” “So what are you making for us?” “Ah’m making an apple pie with an apple glaze, baked apples with apple jam, crispy apple chips with apple butter, apple—” “How many different apple recipes are you combining here?” “Twenty-six.” “I see. Didn’t you give us a bunch of apples last year too? Are you just a one-trick pony?” “Y’all’re the ones that asked for ‘me on a plate.’ So don’t go complaining about an apple farmer giving you apples.” “You’re the first dragon and the youngest competitor we’ve ever had on this show,” Elliot says to the next cook. “Are you worried that the others won’t take you seriously?” “Nah. If they do, it’ll be their mistake. I might be young, but I’ve been cooking for Princess Twilight for years. And I need to show Equestria that dragons aren’t just fire-breathing monsters.” Spike looks around to make sure nopony is listening. "And just between you and me, the only way to stop Twilight from competing was for me join in. I don't think she's ever made anything more complicated than a daffodil and daisy sandwich, and she does [i]not[/i] handle stress well. But with all of her friends trying out, she thought she had to, too. I tried telling her that it wouldn't be fair because she's a princess, but she didn't buy it. But I knew that she wouldn't want to compete against me, so I just told her that I wanted to try out, too." “I see. So what are you making today?” “Nachos. Twilight says I make the best ones in Ponyville.” “Nachos are a very humble food. How are you going to elevate them to a MasterChef level?” “Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ve got a secret ingredient. These will be the best nachos you’ve ever had.” “I look forward to it.” “Oh, darling, I just love your ensemble. The way your pocket square matches your shoes is simply divine!” Rarity, the next contestant, says as Joe approaches. “I hope you’re not just trying to flatter me.” “Oh, of course not, darling. That was never my intention. I just appreciate a well-dressed stallion.” “So what are you cooking for us?” “I’m making a delectable mushroom risotto, with white and portobello mushrooms, carnaroli rice, and of course some delicious herbs.” “You know I’m Bitalian, right? I won’t let you get away with any mistakes. You’d better not mess it up.” “Oh, of course, darling. I never put forth less than perfection.” “All right, next up. What are you making?” Gordon asks. “Muffins!” Derpy exclaims with a large smile. “Is that it?” “Yep! Why would I need to make anything else?” “Well, you’ve already got a few dozen muffins made, but you’re still going. What else are you making?” “More muffins! These muffins are just for me to eat while I cook the muffins for you guys!” “It looks like you have enough ingredients here to feed an army.” “Well, I thought that some of my friends here would want to eat some while they cook too.” Before Gordon can respond, Pinkie appears on his back, reaches over his head, and grabs one of the muffins. “These are really good, Derpy,” she says through a mouthful of muffin. “Gordy, you need to try these.” “Hello? Is anyone here?” Elliot asks a station that is full of food, but apparently devoid of cooks. There is a very quiet [size=3]“Meep!”[/size] from behind the counter. “Excuse me?” He walks around to the other side of the cooking station, where the cook should be. [size=6]”Are you the nice one?”[/size] the voice says, slightly louder. Elliot considers his fellow judges for a moment. “Yes, I suppose I am.” Fluttershy crawls out of a cabinet beneath the counter. “Oh good. The other two judges are just so scary. They always yell at ponies for not being good enough, and I’m worried that I might not be good enough.” “They mean well.” Elliot considers his fellow judges again. “Well, Gordon means well, at least.” He lowers his head to Fluttershy’s level and whispers, “Joe can be kind of a jerk though.” Fluttershy giggles nervously at his comment. “So what are you making?” “Oh, I’m just making a nice garden salad. Simple and delicious.” Elliot raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure? Most garden salads don’t involve coffee beans, jello, and cottage cheese. And why are all your tools floating? I thought only unicorns could do that.” Fluttershy gasps and her eyes narrow. “DISCORD! I thought I told you not to help me.” A small, gray rat wearing a chef’s outfit walks out from behind a mixing bowl. “But I thought that friends were supposed to help each other.” “I’m not sure it really qualifies as ‘help,’ in this case,” Elliot mutters. “Not in competitions like this, Discord. That’s cheating.” “Oh, all right. I’ll just go wait over there with Princess Purple Friendship.” The rat disappears and reappears as a draconequus in the audience, next to Twilight Sparkle. “Don’t worry,” Elliot reassures Fluttershy. “I’m sure that you’ll do great. Just try not to be quite as creative with flavors as your friend is.” “And what do you have for us?” Joe asks as he reaches the next cook. “I’m making my signature six-layer Rainbow Cake™! It’s going to be full of awesome rainbow goodness, just like me!” “Are those boxes of cake mix you’re using?” “Well duh. How else am I supposed to make a cake? You take the cake mix, add the water, eggs, oil, and food coloring, and then you cook it. Easy.” “You’re in the biggest cooking competition in Equestria, and you’re using boxes of cake mix? Are you trying to get sent home?” “As if! I’m totally going to win this thing.” “Really? Because I think you already have a hoof out of the door.” The judges reconvene on their stage. “Who do you think looks promising?” Gordon asks the others. “I think Spike has a decent chance,” Elliot replies. “Nachos may be simple, but his were tasty, and he claims that he can elevate them to our level.” “Rarity’s risotto is coming out nicely. It could be one of the best dishes we’ve had this season,” Joe adds. “Personally, I think that Derpy might actually have a shot,” Gordon says. “Muffins are certainly humble, but hers are delicious. I’m just worried that they might not be good enough. Who do you think is in trouble?” “Fluttershy is definitely in trouble,” answers Elliot. “I doubt she can handle the pressure of the competition, and I think she might be scared of her knives.” “Even if Fluttershy were afraid of her own shadow, she wouldn’t be doing as bad as Rainbow Dash,” Joe counters. “She’s making a cake from boxed cake mix. You just don’t do that at a competition of this level. It’s insulting.” “And Pinkie Pie is all over the place,” Gordon adds. “She seems to have the potential to be a MasterChef, but she’s spent more time eating muffins and whipped cream and messing around with the other cooks than she has preparing her food. But I guess we’ll see.” Gordon watches the clock. “You have one minute left!” he shouts. “You [i]need[/i] to start plating.” The kitchen is full of surprisingly non-Discord-induced chaos as the cooks frantically try to put the finishing touches on their dishes. “Ten!” Gordon cries out. “Nine! “Eight! “Seven! “Six! “Five! “Four! “Three! “Two! “One! “And time! Back away from your stations. Good job, everyone. Well done. We will now taste your food. First up: Applejack.” Applejack brings her dish up to the stage and places it on the podium. “Okay,” Gordon says, “what did you make?” “Well, Rarity tells me that the fancy way ta say it is ‘apples twenty-six ways.’” The judges stare at the large pile of apple-based food. “Well, it’s certainly impressive that you found this many ways to cook an apple,” Elliot offers. “But this is ridiculous.” “We asked you to cook a dish,” Joe adds, “not a buffet.” “I don’t even know where to start eating,” says Gordon. “Just dive in and eat anything,” Applejack suggests. They do. “This is delicious,” Gordon says after sampling several sides of the cooked apple pile. “You really have elevated the humble apple to a whole new level. But you really have overdone it with the volume here. Any one of these dishes could have earned you an apron by itself. You didn’t need to give us all of them.” “Next up is Fluttershy,” Elliot politely calls as Applejack returns to her station. “What have you made for us?” “It’s a simple garden salad,” Fluttershy replies while positioning herself behind the podium in such a way that none of judges can see her. “Simple is right,” Joe says. “Is this just lettuce, carrots, and cucumbers?” “Be nice, Joe,” Elliot warns, but Joe takes no heed of his advice. “This is not a MasterChef-quality dish. This is suitable for a rabbit, not a five-star restaurant.” Fluttershy starts to break down in tears. “Well that was just rude,” the bowl says, sprouting Discord’s face. “Come on Fluttershy, let’s go home and eat comfort food.” With a snap of a lettuce leaf, Fluttershy, the Discord salad, and a large portion of Pinkie’s whipped cream and Derpy’s muffins disappear. And Joe’s pocket square suddenly clashes quite badly with his shoes, but only Rarity notices. “Okay then,” Gordon slowly says. “Next up: Spike.” “Describe your dish,” Elliot says after Spike places it on the podium. “I made nachos with four types of cheese, a pico de gallo salsa, and my secret ingredient—” Joe yells in pain as he takes a bite. “—rubies!” “Really?” Joe asks as he nurses a sore jaw. “You put [i]gems[/i] in your food? You do realize that we are the ones who have to judge your food, and that none of us are dragons, right?” “Oh. Yeah,” Spike says as he lowers his head. “They’d taste really good if you could eat them. I promise! But I guess I just messed up. Sorry, I’ll—” “Actually,” Gordon interjects, “these are quite good, if you’re careful and avoid the gems. I’ll have to take your word for it that the rubies taste good, if you can eat them. But if you just stick to cooking with foods that all of us can eat, then you’ll go far in this competition.” Spike returns to his station with a spring in his step. “Derpy, you would be next,” Elliot calls out, but we’ve all already eaten several of the muffins that you’ve been passing around, and they’re great. So let’s just move on to Pinkie Pie. “Describe your dish,” he says after Pinkie places it on the podium. “I’m not sure you want her to do that,” Gordon interrupts, but Pinkie doesn’t listen. “I made a chimicherrychanga! It’s mashed up cherries in a tortilla that's deep fried. I also added some rainbow to the cherries, but Gordon thought it was too spicy, which I think is silly because you can never have too much spiciness, but I also like silly things, so I decided to add some of my whipped cream to the chimicherrychanga to make it less spicy and even more delicious. I made up chimicherrychangas myself, but I’ve never actually [i]made[/i] one before. I just like it because ‘chimicherrychanga’ is a funny word! I could say it all day long. Chimicherrychanga, chimicherrychanga, chimicherrychanga—” “I told you that was a bad idea,” Gordon mumbles has he and the other two cut into the dish. “—chimicherrychanga, chimicherrychanga, chimicherrychanga—” “This is actually quite good,” Joe interrupts. “I didn’t think it would be, but it is. The cherries and rainbow actually go together quite well.” “I agree,” Elliot adds. “The outside is nice and crispy with a beautiful crunch, while the inside is smooth and delicious, with just the right amount of heat. Cooking like this will take you far in the competition.” “Next up is Rainbow Dash,” Joe calls out with some reluctance. Rainbow looks away in shame as she places her plate before the judges. What is on it looks more like charcoal than food. “Wow,” Joe says in shock. “I expected you to do poorly, but I didn’t think you would give us something [i]this[/i] bad.” “What happened, Rainbow?” Gordon asks. “Surely you’re better than this.” “I took too long to get the batter made and dyed. The cake was supposed to be cooked for twenty minutes at 350 degrees, but I was running out of time, so I decided to cook it for two minutes at 3,500 degrees. Apparently, cooking doesn’t work that way.” “No, it doesn’t.” Gordon confirms. “But how did you even do that? Our stoves definitely don’t go that high.” “I got Spike to eat some of Pinkie’s rainbows. Oh, and you might need to replace my cooking station,” Rainbow says as she scratches the back of her neck nervously. “Sorry, ‘bout that. I’ll just go now.” “And finally, Rarity, bring us your dish,” Gordon calls out. Rarity brings her dish up to the judges, trying to hide just how nervous she is. “I made a mushroom risotto, with carnaroli rice and white and portobello mushrooms,” she tells them. “Visually, it looks stunning,” Gordon tells her. “This is what every MasterChef dish should look like. Now let’s see how it tastes.” The judges each try a spoonful and consider it. “It’s pretty good,” Elliot offers. The texture of the rice is perfect, and you got all of the techniques right.” “I agree, it is technically very good,” Gordon adds. “But it’s just missing something that’s keeping it from being perfect.” “I told you that I wouldn’t be forgiving if you made mistakes,” Joe says, “And while this dish isn’t bad, it is certainly missing something. And I think you know what it is.” “Yes,” Rarity says with a sigh. “I didn’t have enough thyme.”