“So what’s it like being the head honcho, AJ?”

“Buckin’ sucks, Rainbow,” Applejack grumbled, dragging a haybale toward the barn.

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash nodded while she helped push the haybale from behind. “So, uh, Applebloom told me something.”

“What’s that?” Applejack grunted through her teeth.

“She said you haven’t cried.” Rainbow pushed along. “Like, nothing. Nada. Not a tear.”

“And?”

“I dunno, just, uh…” Rainbow trailed off.

“Well, what good’s it do anyway?” Applejack pulled, hard, and hefted the bale through the threshold of the barn, then turned to give it a good kick that sent it sliding into place alongside countless others.

“Yeah.” Rainbow shrugged and stared glumly at the dirt floor. “What good?”

“Exactly.” Applejack nodded. “C’mon, on to the next one.”

They walked side by side back to the pile of haybales waiting to be moved.

“We all miss her, you know?” Rainbow helped head-butt the next bale into position.

“Yer tellin’ me,” Applejack growled, grabbing the bale with her teeth.

“Yeah, sorry.” Rainbow Dash moved into position to help push. “I know nopony does more than you.”

“Yer danged right.” Applejack scowled harder at the bale. “And to be honest, I’d actually rather not talk about it much, if it’s okay.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, okay.” Rainbow nodded while she shoved. “Just had to say one thing, though.”

“Ugh, what?”

“Look, I know there’s the whole ‘Applejack cries on the inside,’ and all,” Rainbow said, “but you know it’s okay if she cries on the outside, too, right?”

Applejack snorted and kept dragging her haybale.

[hr]

“Thanks for helpin’ with all the paperwork, Twi,” Applejack mumbled. “Guess I don’t really know much ‘bout this stuff.”

“Heh.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “I wish [i]I[/i] didn’t. But being a princess is nothing if not an endless stream of administrative whatever.”

“Sure, yeah,” Applejack said dully, and shrugged. She stared at the papers on the dark hardwood table with empty pale green eyes.

“I’m sorry again about Granny Smith,” Twilight offered.

“Yeah,” Applejack snapped. “You and everypony else. Yer all ‘sorry this’ and ‘sorry that’.”

“I’m so–” Twilight stopped herself. “You wanna talk about anything, Applejack?”

“No, Twilight, Ah don’t!” Applejack raised her voice. “Talkin’ ain’t gonna bring her back!”

“I know.” Twilight waited a few seconds, then cautiously sidled up next to Applejack and slowly stretched a wing across her withers, gently patting her back.

Suddenly, with a wordless angry guttural noise, Applejack raised a front hoof and smashed it down on the table. She swept her hoof in an arc, sending papers flying. Twilight recoiled, taking two steps back and pulling her wing away.

A dark silence loomed in the aftermath, sheets slowly settling to the floor.

Applejack took several deep breaths. “Ah think I need help, Twi,” she finally spoke, gently.

“With what?” Twilight asked.

“Don’t know how to deal with it,” Applejack said. “Didn’t think it’d feel this way.”

“Well, I know you just said you don’t want to,” Twilight began carefully, “but why don’t you just try talking about how it feels? I mean, I’m here, now, so… just a little, maybe?”

“Everypony says I should be happy, about, you know, this—” Applejack pointed at the mess of papers “—but I ain’t.”

“About inheriting the farm?”

“Inheriting it, bein’ the Apple in charge now.” Applejack nodded. “I knew I was waitin’ for it. Thing is, I’m startin’ to realize I wasn't waiting for it because I [i]wanted[/i] it, but only because it was inevitable.”

“Yeah,” Twilight said softly. “Granny wasn’t going to be around forever.”

“I don’t want it, Twilight!” Applejack complained. “Not for what it costs. Not like this. The apples taste like ashes now.”

“She’s not really gone,” Twilight said. “Trite, but it’s true. There's so much of her in you.”

“Yeah. Well, maybe that's why it feels like I lost such a big piece of myself.”

[hr]

“Thanks again for helpin’ with the chores lately, Rainbow.”

“No problem, ‘Jack.” Rainbow saluted.

“Oh, and, uh.” Applejack coughed. “Thought about what you said the other day.”

“Look, I can’t tell you—”

“No, you’re right. It’s just, I, uh. I guess I don’t really know [i]how.[/i]”

“I dunno.” Rainbow shrugged. “You wanna… hug it out, or whatever?”

They stood staring at each other awkwardly, until Rainbow moved first, slowly moving to put a front leg around Applejack, who raised her own leg and returned the embrace.

“It just hurts,” Applejack said, slowly cracking into sobs.

“I know,” Rainbow said softly. “But it’s gonna be okay.”