“Now don’t take this the wrong way,” began Fluttershy. “It’s just that… well…” “If you want ponies to like you, ‘helping’ them is the last thing you should do,” concluded Rainbow. “What’s wrong with my help?” demanded Discord. “Well darling, when I complained I had nopony modeling for me, you decided to help by making my ponniquins more ‘lifelike.’ I had to spend the whole day chasing them down.” “And even if they harvest themselves, Ah can’t convince nopony that ‘jumpin’ apples’ are like jumpin’ beans. Nopony wants to buy them.” “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help!” interjected Twilight. “But maybe run your ideas by somepony else first.” “I’d be happy to help you help ponies, Discord,” offered Fluttershy. “You sure Flutters?” asked Rainbow. “Of course. But I have to go feed my animal friends now, Discord. Maybe you could think of some ideas and tell me them later?” [hr] *Thump* *THUMP* [b]*THUMP*[/b] The tea inside Fluttershy’s teacup rippled. [b]*THUMP*[/b] Suddenly her cottage’s door flung open, and a draconequus flew in the window. “Fluttershy, what are you doing under the table?” “I heard these giant footsteps and-” Fluttershy froze as she saw what was outside her door. “AAAAAHH! Dragon!” “Oh don’t be silly Fluttershy. Rexy’s not a dragon. He’s a tyrannosaur.” “Aren’t dinosaurs extinct?” “They were,” chuckled Discord. “Why did you bring a tyrannosaur back to life?” “Well, you wanted me to come up with ideas to help ponies. Then I got to thinking about your animal friends, and how you love making new ones. And how you are a pony. So I decided to help you make some new animal friends. Thus, Rexy!” reasoned Discord. “Oh, Discord. While I do like your idea of bringing back animals from extinction, how about something a bit smaller.” Fluttershy took another look at Rexy. “And less toothy. Plus to bring back a species, you’d need at least a breeding pair, preferably more.” “Hmmm, something smaller and less toothy.” [hr] “What are these things?” yelled Applejack as she bucked a timberwolf-sized bird through a produce cart. [size=1]“MY CABBAGES!”[/size] “Titanis walleri,” responded Twilight, blasting a pair with her magic. “But they’re supposed to be extinct!” “Well tell them that!” shouted Rainbow as she tackled another one. Pinkie shot confetti into the face of a bird sneaking up behind Rarity. “Has anypony seen Fluttershy?” [hr] “How do you like my terrorbirds?” “They’re destroying the town!” “I actually think it looks better-” “Discord!” “Oh, fine,” Discord humphed. A snap of his talons and the terrorbirds found themselves in the Everfree. “I’m not helping, am I?” “I’m sure if you keep trying, you’ll get it. How about something even smaller. And without [i]terror[/i] in the name. And remember, tell me first.” [hr] “Do you love it?” Fluttershy stared at the Attercopus. “Uhh… some ponies… nope,” she stammered. Discord’s face fell. “I already put one in everypony’s basement,” his mouth stated from the floor. [hr] “Thank you for restoring Ponyville, Discord. Oh! You helped!” exclaimed Fluttershy, who promptly morphed into a certain draconequus. “It’s not helping if I’m the reason Ponyville was burned to the ground!” Discord stopped as he heard the sound of a mare crying. Somepony he could help? Investigating, he discovered the sobbing crystal mare on a train station bench, with a stallion by her side consoling her. “The specialist may not have been able to help, honey, but we can always apply for adoption.” One snap of his tail, and he was cradling an infant foal. The colt’s white crystal coat, while letting light through, failed to sparkle or shine, making him nearly invisible. *Buurrrp* The foal belched, releasing a huge gust, leaving Discord’s face comically frozen in a look of surprise until he shook off the ice. “We’re going to have to keep that under control, or you’ll be discovered much too soon.” With a tap of his claw he prevented any more surges. With that done, he transformed into a stork and placed a foal-containing bundle in front of the foal’s new mother. Shocked, the couple failed to put together a response as Discord tipped his cap and flew away. “All aboard for the Crystal Empire!” As he lit down behind some bushes to watch the new family board their train, he was startled by a voice. “See Discord, you [b]can[/b] help.” “You saw that Fluttershy?” “Mhmm.” “I did help, didn’t I? And I even got to bring back a (sub)species!” “When did you bring back- how do you speak parentheses?”