I knew something was wrong the moment I entered the living room.

For one thing, Carrot Top was home early. By itself, this wasn't weird—she would often return home around Special Derpy Muffin Time to thwart my latest attempt to locate hidden muffins inside our refrigerator. It doesn't appear that there are any muffins in our refrigerator, but Carrot isn't smart enough to realize the muffins could be invisible.

It wasn't just her, though. There were others: the Doctor was here, and Lyra Heartstrings, and Bon Bon (I've always thought she was hiding something). Plus there was that pony whose name I keep forgetting, and she had her crown on which meant this was probably important. There were six chairs arranged in a circle, and all my friends were sitting Lyra-style in them.

I didn't like this at all. Circles [i]always[/i] spell trouble.

"Hay Derpy," said Carrot Top, with a smile on her face. That was weird too. It was more common for her to make a scrunchface with one hoof in front so you couldn't see the scrunch very well (which kind of defeats the purpose of scrunch).

"Could you take a seat?" asked the Doctor. The empty seat was obviously for me. I carefully checked it for invisible muffins before sitting down.

"I'm scared and confused," I said, which was normal. "Why are we playing musical chairs with no music?"

"Derpy, this is an [i]intervention[/i]," said the pony whose name I can't remember. "We need to talk with you."

I frowned. "Please tell me you're not here to stop me from finding invisible muffins," I said. "I know they're out there! Sometimes I can smell them."

Everypony made confused-looking faces, except Carrot Top who made the face that makes her look old and tired.

"It's not that kind of intervention," Carrot Top said. "That one's scheduled for tomorrow. Today, we're here to talk to you about being secret rabbit toy factories."

"What?" I said.

"We're secret rabbit toy factories, Derpy," said the crown-pony.

"Oh. You secretly make rabbit toys?" I asked.

The Doctor shook his head. "No, Derpy. We [i]are[/i] toy factories. We're staffed and run by rabbits. Secretly."

"Although the toys we make [i]are[/i] rabbit toys, so you're technically right," said Lyra.

Bon Bon nodded. "Let me how you." She reached down and pulled open the fur from her stomach. Out peeked the head and arm of a bunny. He held a wicker ball, then smiled and retreated back into Bon Bon's body.

"Isn't this just a 'coming out' thing?" I asked. "I never knew you were all secret rabbit toy factories."

"No, it's an intervention," said Carrot Top. "Your whole 'not being a secret rabbit toy factory' thing has gone on for too long, Derpy. We want you be sensible and start being a secret rabbit toy factory like the rest of your friends."

I thought carefully about the offer, for maybe ten minutes.

"No," I finally said.

"Well, at the very least you have to keep it a secret," said the Doctor. "Otherwise we can't be secret rabbit toy factories anymore. We'd just be rabbit toy factories, which isn't very considerate."

I stood up and magically transformed into Super Derpy. "Peanuts are good for your digestive system!" I shouted, realizing my catch phrase could use some work. Then all Tartarus broke loose—

[hr]

"You see? This is why we're having an intervention, Derpy," said Carrot Top, after reading the paper aloud. "You [i]have[/i] to stop writing fanfiction. Like, right now."

"But that fanfic isn't finished," said Derpy Hooves. "It probably gets a lot better."

"This isn't fanfiction, Derpy!" said Lyra. "These aren't fictional characters you're writing about. You're writing bizarre, creepy stories about your friends and leaving them around where anypony can see them! We're real ponies, not toy factories—"

"Secret [i]rabbit[/i] toy factories," Derpy corrected.

The Doctor reached out and gently lay a hoof on Derpy's shoulder. "Derpy, why don't we spend some time together trying to find another creative outlet for you? Maybe painting?" he offered. "You can put practically anything on a canvas and somepony will think it's art."

Derpy pouted. "You can't stifle my genius!" she said, then stormed out of the house.

Princess Twilight Sparkle sighed. "I'm sorry, everypony. That could have gone better. Maybe we shouldn't have been so direct."

Bon Bon narrowed her eyes. "Well, we still have a major problem to deal with," she said. A lump wiggled within her neck, controlling her vocal speakers.

"[i]She knows.[/i]"