One afternoon, the God of Time trotted up the path to Fluttershy’s cottage and knocked on the door. Unfortunately, Fluttershy had no time for him (most ponies don’t), and Fluttershy begged the deity come by another day.

“I’m so very, very sorry,” Fluttershy said from the doorway, as graciously as she could. “I’m sure you’re an awfully important pony, Mr. God of Time, and I’m sure you have an awfully important reason for visiting, but I’m just too busy today. Oh, I don’t mean that I think you’re not busy, or that my time is more important than yours. I’m sure taking care of time keeps you very busy too. It’s just my poor Angel Bunny. He’s sick with a very bad case of…” And here Fluttershy hesitated, for saying the name out loud might make it real, and she so very wanted it to not be real.

Instead, Fluttershy told the God of Time and herself, “He’s sick with the snuffles. That’s all. But it’s still a very bad case of the snuffles, and he shouldn’t be left alone for even a moment. I should be with him right now. I’m so sorry, I just have no time for you today, Mr. God of Time.”

The God of Time understood, politely wished Angel Bunny the best, and agreed to come another day. Fluttershy may have had no time, but the God of Time had nothing but. Too much even, some might say.

The deity left her a business card and went back down the path from Fluttershy’s cottage. Fluttershy went back to Angel Bunny.


“There’s no such thing as a God of Time,” Twilight said a few days later when Angel’s health had improved and Fluttershy had a chance to go into town. Even as Twilight said it, she was pulling books from the shelves of her library to confirm. “At least none that I’ve ever heard of.”

“Well,” Fluttershy murmured, sitting at a table and sipping at a cup of bitter tea, “he said he was the God of Time, so that must be what what he was. He didn’t have any reason to lie.”

“That isn’t how it works,” Twilight said, already lost in some behemoth of an encyclopedia.

Fluttershy chose not to respond. She didn’t want to argue. This was the first real break she’d had since the start of Angel Bunny’s illness. Fluttershy did appreciate her friend's skeptical nature and thirst for truth, be sometimes she wished Twilight would just let things be, not turn every retelling of a strange encounter into a deposition.

Fluttershy scolded herself for thinking something so mean of a friend. Twilight wasn’t doing that at all. Fluttershy was just stressed. Taking care of Angel Bunny had been hard. Fluttershy forced herself to smile, intent on being amiable and having a good time, and said, “Of course, you must be right. You always are, Twilight.”

But of course Twilight couldn’t let it go. “Just what did this supposed God of Time look like?” she asked.

The God of Time looked like an earth pony stallion. He didn’t glow, his voice didn’t boom, and no magical aura radiated about his person. The God of Time looked like any other pony. A bit taller than average, perhaps, but otherwise normal. He wore a two-penny suit and kept his dark mane slicked back. He had an easy smile, looked both professional and easy-going, like somebody Fluttershy could trust.

That was the best word for him, Fluttershy decided—trustworthy. He had been a very easy pony to believe. It was strange, but Fluttershy wanted to believe him. If he gave any auras off at all, they were of honesty and friendliness, and that was why Fluttershy felt irritated that Twilight wouldn’t believe her. Twilight hadn’t met him. She didn’t know what he was like.

Fluttershy may not have been as smart as Twilight, but if a life spent caring for animals had taught her anything, it was the game of predator and prey.

“I think you should be careful around this pony,” Twilight said. “I don’t know why, but he’s lying to you. If he tries to sell you anything, don’t buy it.”

Fluttershy started to retort, but bit her tongue. She didn’t want to argue. She hated arguing.

“And how is Angel?” Twilight’s voice became softer. “Is he doing any better?”

Here, Fluttershy hesitated again. Because she was a liar. Angel Bunny didn’t have the snuffles. He had something much worse. But Fluttershy still couldn’t say it, because she still didn’t want it to be real.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight said, pulling her into a quick hug. “If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.”

But what could Twilight have done?

[hr]

As promised, The God of Time came knocking at Fluttershy’s door again. But on this afternoon, Fluttershy invited him inside.

“Thanking you so much for taking the time to meet with me,” the God of Time said, and laughed hysterically at his own joke.

Fluttershy smiled politely.

When he finished laughing, the God of Time cleared his throat, sat up in his seat, and adopted a professional demeanor. “I’m sure you already know this, but above all else, I am a business pony. It’s who I’ve always been and who I’ll always be. And the first thing any successful business pony must learn is to make do with what he’s got. To make lemons into lemonade, as it were.” The God of Time leaned forward and raised his eyebrows comically, as if he and Fluttershy were the only two ponies in the world privy to some brilliant secret, and they both thought it a grand joke. “So, as is no surprise, my business is time. And today, I’m bringing my business to your humble little cottage, Fluttershy. Today, I come bearing time. Can’t you see it? Why, it’s practically spilling from my every pocket I’ve brought you so much.”

Fluttershy glanced at his pockets, and saw nothing.

“But alas,” the God of Time said, leaning back, his expression turning solemn, “I am a business pony, and an impoverished business pony at that. Time has been a hard business these past millennia, and I am the god of nothing else but time. I’m no lord of realty or stocks, as I’ve learned the hard way. The day has finally come that I make a profit on the only worthwhile product I’ve ever had.” The God of Time smiled again, all solemnity gone. “It’s your lucky day, because I’ve chosen you, Fluttershy, to be my first customer. I’ve put together a special personalized offer just for you.”

If he tries to sell you anything, don’t buy it, Twilight had said.

Fluttershy frowned.

The God of Time’s smile tightened. It didn’t drop away all together, but went from jovial to something else, something more personal. “I can see some hesitation in your eyes, Fluttershy,” he said, the tone of his voice suggesting that Fluttershy was some poor lost little lamb that had been led astray in the woods. “Some worry or skepticism. That is to be expected. This is an incredible deal, after all. Unprecedented, even! I perfectly understand. But I’m trying to help you, Fluttershy. I would smooth out any anxieties you might have. If there’s anything I can do, please tell me.”

But what could the God of Time have done?

Quite a bit actually.

Most gods can.

“It’s just…” Fluttershy hesitated, but the God of Time’s smile disarmed her. “It’s my friend, Twilight. She said that—”

“You mean Twilight Sparkle!” The God of Time jumped out of his seat. Fluttershy thought she saw something like anger pass behind his eyes, but it vanished in a moment. “Would you believe it, I had planned her to be my first customer. Heavens know no other pony in Equestria could use an extra hour in her day, and the whole of the kingdom would benefit besides. But, as you say, she is far too needling. I’m convinced you would appreciate my help far more than she, Fluttershy. So what does the young princess demand? Proof of my claim to godhood, perhaps?”

Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Well, yes…”

“It is proof easily shown!” With a skip in his step, the God of Time trotted over to one of Fluttershy’s house plants and touched it with a hoof.

The plant began to shrink. It’s leaves fell back into the stem, and stem drew back into the soil of the pot, until there was nothing left.

Fluttershy gasped. She got up and examined the spot where the plant had been, but there was no sign of it.

The God of Time smirked. “I can just as easily send it the other way.”

Under the deity’s touch, the stem popped out of the soil again, leaves folded outwards until it looked just the same as it had before. But it didn’t stop there. The plant grew wildly, tall and taller, its leaves wider and wider. Then it drooped, collapsed on itself, green leaves turned brown and then black and then gray. A moment later, all that was left was ash.

“Is this proof enough?” The God of Time asked.

“Oh, yes! Yes!” Fluttershy cried. “I knew Twilight just had to be wrong. I knew you were the God of Time. I knew you were a friend. I could just tell. I always can.”


“Yes,” the God of Time said, “I am your friend. Now may we get back to business?”

“Absolutely,” Fluttershy said. “Anything you want, Mr. God of Time!”

The God of Time seemed amused at that. “What I want, dear Fluttershy, is to help. I come bearing time, and I bear it for you. It can be yours—for a price.”

“Oh, but… I don’t really want anymore time.” 

It was true. While she heard other ponies often complain that there were never enough hours in the day, Fluttershy had always felt that each day had a perfectly reasonable number. She went to bed every night feeling tired enough, and every morning she woke feeling rested enough. She got all the work done she needed to. No more and no less. What good would more time do her?

The God of Time shook his head sadly. “Oh, Fluttershy, you selfish creature. I do not mean for you to use this time on yourself. I mean for you to use it on another.”

Then Fluttershy understood. She looked towards where Angel Bunny slept. Even in sleep, his breath was ragged.

“Just how is poor little Angel Bunny doing?” The God of Time asked.

Here, Fluttershy hesitated, for all the same reasons.

“You’ve seen it before,” The God of Time said. “He’s running out of time, and he’ll soon be out. But surely you must recognize the miracle this day has brought you? A whole sackful of time just traipsed through your front door, and it’s yours for the taking, to take away as much as you can carry. His time doesn’t need run out. He can have more, if you choose. He could live for years. He could live longer than any bunny rabbit ever has.”

This time, Fluttershy didn’t hesitate. “What do you want?” she asked.

“What does any business pony want?” The God of Time smiled again, his teeth glinting white. “Money.”

Fluttershy gathered her purse, gathered her savings, gathered every coin she could fund under the cushions of her sofa. When it was all collected, she asked the God of Time, “What will this get me? How much time will this buy Angel Bunny? I can find more. I can sell my things. I can ask my friends, if it isn’t enough.”

The God of Time carefully counted out every bit. He considered for a long time, while Fluttershy waited anxiously. Finally, he said, “Enough. It will buy him enough.”

Just as they were about to shake hoofs and finish the deal, the God of Time asked, “And will you be making this purchase with a God of Time MasterCard or store card today?”

Fluttershy frowned. “Um, no. I’m paying with cash.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” the God of Time said. “But do you have either of those cards?”

“Well… no.”

The God of Time looked shocked and then delights. “Have I ever got a deal for you! This month, and only this month, if you sign up and are approved for a God of Time MasterCard, you’ll receive a free twenty minutes off of this purchase! What do you say?”

“Um…”

“It only takes two minutes!”

“I don’t really…”

“No annual fee!”

“It’s not that…”

“Doesn’t Angel Bunny deserve every extra minute you can get him? Especially when that time is free?

“I guess when you put it that way…”

Two minutes later, Fluttershy was the owner of a shiny, brand new God of Time MasterCard, and Angel Bunny was twenty minutes richer.

Again, just as they were about to shake hoofs and finish the deal, the God of Time asked, “And would you happen to be a member of the God of Time Super Customer Rewards Program?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Would you like to sign up? All it takes is a name, phone number, and email. There are no fees, no cards. Just every time you make a purchase at any God of Time retailer, you earn points which can later be redeemed for free time. Also,during certain sales and on special select items we’ll have special prices just for Super Customer members. Enroll now, and start earning points today!”

“I guess so…”

A name, phone number, and email later, Fluttershy was a Super Customer.

Again, just as they were about to shake hoofs and finish the deal, the God of Time said, ”And this product is eligible for a ninety day God of Time Purchase Protect Warranty for just an extra fifteen bits!”

“A what?”

“I, as the God of Time, would like to ensure that all of my customers are satisfied with my product. With a ninety day God of Time Purchase Protect Warranty, if you have any problems with this purchased time, any breaks, temporary loss of coverage, or death within the first ninety days after purchase, and your purchase will be fully refunded!”

“I guess if you think it’s necessary…”

An extra fifteen bits later, and Fluttershy was in possession of a ninety day God of Time Purchase Protect warranty.

Again, just as they were about to shake hoofs and finish the deal, the God of Time asked, ”And would you like to donate to the God of Time Paladins at Home program?”

“Is Angel still getting his extra time?”

“The God of Time Paladins at Home program raises funds to assist former Royal Guardsmen and their families by making necessary repairs, improvements, or modifications to their homes. You care about the former Royal Guardsmen who spent the best years of their lives keeping you and Angel Bunny safe?”

And because Fluttershy did care about the former Royal Guardsmen, she donated one bit and became a proud sponsor of the God of Time Paladins at Home program.

Again, just as they were about to shake hoofs and finish the deal, the God of Time asked, ”Would you like these coupons along with your receipt?”

Exhausted, Fluttershy said, “Whatever.”

The God of Time left soon after, with all of Fluttershy’s money. Only, Angel Bunny was hopping about the cottage, energetically scolding Fluttershy and the other animals, and demanding specially prepared meals. It was as if he had never been sick.

In her delight, Fluttershy never noticed that the God of Time had left her houseplant dead and rotten and grey.

[hr]

Months later, Twilight examined Angel Bunny. “I can’t find any magical residue in his system at all,” Twilight said, baffled. “Which shouldn’t be possible. If this supposed God of Time used magic to heal him, there would be some measurable trace of it. But there’s no trace of the illness, either. It’s as if he was never sick.”

“It wasn’t magic,” Fluttershy said, content. She had never said the name of the illness, and so it had never become real. Fluttershy had stopped naming lots of things she didn’t like.

“Then what did he to do to Angel?” Twilight asked.

“He gave him more time,” Fluttershy answered simply.

“Yes, but how? And what does that even mean? What does giving somepony more time entail?”

Fluttershy shrugged. She didn’t need anymore than to know that Angel was safe and healthy. Twilight could poke and prod and become frustrated if she chose, but it would change nothing. Angel was alive, and he would be alive for years yet.

“Listen, Fluttershy,” Twilight said seriously, “I know you’re happy for Angel, but you need to think about this. Whatever power this God of Time is using is strange and unpredictable. It could just as easily harm as help. We don’t know anything about this pony, or what his motives are. He could be dangerous! Please, the next time you see or hear from him, come straight to me.”

Fluttershy nodded along, but she wasn’t really listening.

[hr]

That night, the God of Time trotted up the path to Fluttershy’s cottage and knocked on the door. Fortunately, Fluttershy had all the time in the world, and she welcomed him right in.

“Oh no, that won’t be necessary,” the God of Time said. “You see, I’m only visiting because I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve missed your first scheduled payment. And that’s a problem.”

“What payment?” Fluttershy asked. She didn’t like the God of Time’s demeanor this visit. He was smiling, but his smile was wrong somehow. It was too smug.

“On your God of Time MasterCard, of course.”

“But I’ve never used that card!”

“Yes, you did!” The God of Time looked at her like she was a child acting up. “Don’t you ponies ever pay attention? Your very first purchase of time was charged to the card when you first signed up and were approved.”

“But you took all my bits, too!”

“As a security deposit. And now I’m glad I did. It’s just for situations like this that they’re required.”

“But you took so much!”

The God of Time nodded distractedly, looking through a record book he had brought. “Yes, your credit was terrible. Now I can see why. Anyway, because of your poor credit, your card had a high interest rate. Something around twenty-six point nine percent, if I remember correctly. And you purchased quite a bit of time. A whole lifetime’s worth, actually. The card did have a six month grace period, but interest continued to accrue during that time. Unfortunately, the grace period is up, and you’ve missed your first payment, so there are also late fees to consider.”

“So how much do I owe?”

“Hmmm,” the God of Time hmmmed, scribbling in his record book. He tore a page out and lifted it up for her to see the number he’d written.

Fluttershy balked. “But that can’t be right.”

“I think you’d be surprised at how quickly interest can accumulate, especially on such a large purchase.”

“But I don’t even have that much!”

The God of Time smiled. “Oh, but you do, Fluttershy. Not in currency, no. But I think you’ll find that you have just enough in time to cover the debt. Just barely enough, actually. You’re lucky, when you think about it. Anymore, and you’d be dead outright. This way, you should at least have some time left to say goodbye to your friends. If you’re quick about it, that is.”

For a moment, Fluttershy couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t even speak. It must have been some prank, some joke.

“No,” the God of Time said, as if reading her mind, “credit card debt is really no joke at all.”

“I can’t give you all that time!” Fluttershy said.

“Oh, no, you’re right, of course. You can’t give it to anypony. But I can take it from you. Because I’m the God of Time, and when you’re a god of something, you can do with it whatever you like.”

“But… but…” Fluttershy was on the verge of tears. “But why? You said we were friends. You helped Angel!”

“Why? Because as I’m sure I’ve mentioned, I’m a business pony at heart, and it’s high time I started making a profit. Do you know what I’ve been doing these past millennia? Building demand. As any good business pony knows, and I think you’ll find that I’m a very good business pony, all commerce runs on the principle of supply and demand. And for the longest time, there was just too much time! Too much supply! Did you know, in the earliest ages, there was so much extra time lying about that no pony ever died? Your Celestia is a holdover from those early years. A bit of a hoarder, that one, but who can blame her? Business was hard then. Who would spend money on something you could pick up anywhere? Something as common as air and water? So I waited. I let you little ponies use my time for free, let you waste it. And you ponies really are so very wasteful, have you ever noticed? Hundreds of millions of years passed, and ponies began to die. I didn’t step in then, though. I decided to let them taste it for a while, let them develop a terrible taste for bitter inevitable death. Even then, I didn’t step in. I was building up demand. The less there was, the more valuable my stock became. So I let them die for a few millennia, let them forget the banquet of everlasting life. But our time is now, your time is now, Fluttershy. Time is running out for us all, but yours quicker than most. Because I’m back, and I’ve brought eternal life back into the world. For a price. And you, Fluttershy, owe me quite a bit.”

“My friends will stop you!” Fluttershy cried. “Twilight will stop you!”

“Actually,” the God of Time said, pausing, “I think you’re right. I believe Twilight Sparkle will be my next customer. As for you, I think I’ll be having that time back now.”

The God of Time touched her. Fluttershy fell to the ground, withered and rotten and grey.

“Next time around, read the fine print, dear Fluttershy.”