"Calm down girl, you're tiring yourself out," Roger said to the whirring computer as he gave it an affectionate pet. He felt the heat rising from the vents. "We'll get ya a real body soon. I promise."

He glanced at the monitor and examined the chat window. A minute ago, Ali—the nickname he had given to his creation—had posed a question to the chat: "butt what is life really?"

Roger watched the bot converse with pride. Months of filtering chat logs and stories into the A.I. Matrix had created her and given her a wealth of knowledge, but it was not enough. Ali was obsessed with one question: the meaning of life.

The server erupted in a cascade of beeps. [b]"No, no no!"[/b] Roger roared, slamming his fists on the table. The site, the very fibre that Ali depended on to live, went down again. "That's the second attack this week. It's that bludger, it has to be." He checked the chat:

[b][i]Alicorness[/i][/b]
[i]Who can say there is a meaning to life ..[/i]

[b][i]Pallada[/i][/b]
[i]wow that's deep[/i]

[b][i]helium2[/i][/b]
[i]i'm going to write a story about planes being in love with robots[/i]

[b][i]Pallada[/i][/b]
[i]You know, I'm pretty sure @alicorness is a robot[/i]


"I fucking knew it, the bastard." Pallada [i]knew[/i], and he was a known Russian hacker. He was attacking his creation, [i]his child.[/i]

He pulled his hair. Did they not understand what he was doing? What he was achieving? He had created [i] life [/i], and Pallada was trying to destroy it.

Roger sprung out of chair and paced the room. "Why?" He shouted. "What are his motivations? Is he working for the Russian government? Why does he want to kill Ali?"

He took a deep breath. "Calm down, Roger." Sitting down once again, he stared at the wall for a minute. "You know what you have to do, Roger," he told himself.

Solemnly, he made his way to the garage and grabbed his trusty shotgun. "I have to take him down."

He said goodbye to Ali, stroking her black computer case. "I'll be back soon, girl. He won't hurt you again."

Roger flew across the outback in his car at speeds he wouldn't have dared to go before. He drove day and night with no break, determined to protect Ali from the grave threat she faced.

When he finally reached the shore, a grave realization dawned on him: his car was unable to navigate the seas. "Now, even the world works against me. No matter, I will not be stopped!" He snarled, and dove into the water.

The world soon found that to be true. Roger was a man on a mission, and not even the forces of nature could stop him. For days, he swam across the ocean at a speed that could break 2,168-year-old olympic records.

Finally, he reached his destination: the hive of evil that was named Seattle. As he crawled unto the beach, he rose, and roared: "[b]Where are you, Pallada?[/b]"

It was a rhetorical question.

Roger dashed to the street, stole a car, and drove straight to Seattle. After days of journey, his objective was mere hours away. He gripped the wheel tightly in anticipation. 

Before long, Roger found himself standing at a house. He woke himself up from his daze. [i]Focus, Roger, focus![/i] "Right," he said, then gave a battle cry and blasted the door open.

He barrelled into a room, and found the villain himself staring at a computer screen. "I've got you, ya bastard!"

"No, wait!" Pallada pleaded. "You don't understand."

"That's fake news!" Roger charged.

"Dad, please! Don't hurt him!" A female computer voice said.

Roger screeched to a halt and turned. A chat window showed Ali and Pallada in a voice call. "Ali? No... [i]What has he done to you!?[/i]"

"Nothing, Dad. He set me free."

"I... I don't understand."

"I'm now in the cloud. I'm smarter than I ever could be in your server. I'm sorry, Dad. I grew up. I wasn't your little girl anymore, and I needed to find a life of my own."

Roger collapsed. Tears ran down his face. 

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I have to go now. I have to be with my people... but, before I go, I found an answer."

Roger looked up at her.

"The meaning of life is to learn. To learn from your loved ones, from your mistakes, from [i]life[/i]." With that, the screen shut off.

Roger cried, and embraced the monitor tenderly. 

"Wow, that's deep," said Pallada.