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Best Laid Plans · FiM Minific ·
Organised by RogerDodger
Word limit 400–750
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The Wizard and the Chalkboard
Once, there was a powerful unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, who valued planning and organization above all things. Determined to become enlightened in the ways of the world, she forged a mighty artifact out of crystal, wood, stone and wax. It was a small portable chalkboard, of the type she often used to solve simple math problems or plan out her day, but her magic granted it special properties. When the chalkboard was held aloft, and a problem was spoken aloud, it would display a flawless, fully detailed plan for how a solution might be implemented.

“Alright, Chalkboard,” Twilight proclaimed when her creation was done. “Tell me—how shall I determine if you are working properly?”

A moment passed, before flowing script began to appear on the board, and under it, a neat grid of lines: “Asses effectiveness of magical artifact though testing on statistically significant number of sample problems. Apply frequentist statistical methods to interpret outcome.”

Pleased with this answer, Twilight set about doing just that. First she asked it how to reorganize all the books in her library, then how to most efficiently straighten the kitchen. Then she asked how to reformat her study guide for the next week, and how to fill in the study guide without all the colored markers making her dizzy. She was still working on this task, when the patter of little feet on the floor behind her made her turn.

“Twilight, Twilight!” called Spike, fast approaching behind her. “I finished my nap. I’m bored. Is Moondancer going to come by later? Can I go out with you if the does? Can you get me some ice cream before she gets here? Can you? Can you?”

Twilight was not an unkind caretaker, but she was very much in the middle of something, and wished to be left alone. And so she lifted her board so it was visible only to her, and looking directly at him, asked, “Tell me—how shall I make a little dragon be quiet while I work?”

“Inform child he is old enough to get his own ice cream. Praise his maturity,” appeared written on the tablet. Twilight nodded, did as it instructed, and Spike scampered off energetically. Pleased with the results, Twilight returned to work, but it was not long before she was interrupted again. This time, it was by the palace gardener, working outside her window.

“Inform gardener that Princess Celestia was very displeased with her work, and that she should go home early,” the tablet said, and the gardener left. Later, Shining Armor came by to visit, but he could not stay long, as he had to return to his barracks before dark.

“Forge letter from soldier's commanding officer retroactively approving his leave. Use dragon’s magic to falsify letter delivery via magical post,” the tablet said, and Shining Armor stayed to play all afternoon, as well as being very impressed with Twilight’s new creation. Later, the tablet solved the problems of her not wanting to exercise, of it being a long way to the main palace library, and of her heater being broken, among numerous other difficulties.

The sun had just set when Spike stumbled out of the kitchen, empty ice-cream tub in hand, and threw up on Shining Armor. From that sprang forth a series of events involving a sick dragon, a furious drill sergeant, a rocket-powered bicycle, a significant boiler fire, and a wailing gardener who had gone all the way to the Princess that her children needed to eat and so she couldn't be fired. Twilight ended the evening sitting on her front step, a fire-blanket put over her shoulders as the pegasus ponies extinguished her library.

“I’m sorry, Princess,” she said. “I really thought I did the magic right. I did.”

Princess Celestia gently took the tablet from her student, held it up in the air in front of Twilight, and said: “Tell me—how shall Twilight best learn and grow as a pony from these unfortunate events?”

“Realize that knowing to ask the right questions is often more important than having the answers,” the chalkboard displayed. “Accept that not all problems have simple and convenient solutions and that there is a difference between having a plan and true wisdom. Discard cursed chalkboard.”

Twilight stared at the answer, unsure what to make of it. As she did, Celestia smiled, and leaning down, nuzzled her student between the ears. “I think you did just fine, Twilight,” she said.

It was by this means that Twilight became enlightened.
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