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Organised by
RogerDodger
Word limit
400–750
The Only Way to Win Is Not to Play
Twilight frowned and prodded the sealed envelope with a dubious hoof. She glanced askance at Pinkie Pie. “You don’t honestly think this will work, do you?”
Pinkie nodded her head vigorously. “Yeppers!”
Twilight sighed, closing her eyes against the slowly burgeoning headache. “Pinkie,” she said, a hoof working small circles into her temples, “There’s no way, even with you, that somepony could predict every action a pony takes in a day. It’s not possible. There are too many variables.”
Pinkie blew a raspberry and shooed away any concerns with a brisk wave. “Come on Twilight, think of it as, hmm,” her head tilted to one side and then the other as she considered. Finally her face brightened. “Think of it as an experiment!”
Twilight’s narrowed her eyes. “An experiment,” she repeated flatly.
“Yes! An experiment!” Pinkie pulled Twilight under an arm, the other waving around before them, attempting to convey the wonder of what Pinkie was imagining. “Remember when you were totally wrong about Pinkie Sense and everyone laughed at you for being a giant loser?”
Twilight’s eye twitched briefly before she willed her face into an expression of clinical detachment. “Yes, I can recall being taught a lesson about acknowledging the existence of things I don’t understand.”
“Well consider this your chance to gauge the boundaries of the ineffable! How far out does Pinkie Sense go? How accurate can it possibly be?” Pinkie released Twilight and pushed the envelope towards her. “Come on Twilight, it’ll be fun.”
Twilight sighed and took the envelope up in a hoof. “And if even one thing on this list is wrong, I win?”
“Mmhmm, you win.”
“And how long will this go on for?”
“Until eight o’clock tonight.”
There was brief hesitation before Twilight finally nodded.
Pinkie let out a loud squeal that did Twilight’s headache no favors before running out of the room. “Remember not to look at my predictions Twilight!” Her voice trailed off as she vanished into the distance.
Twilight shook her head wearily. The things she did for her friends.
Twilight studied the envelope over steepled hooves. According to Pinkie, her entire day was plotted out, to a T.
“Assuming she was basing her predictions behavioral analysis,” she thought. Twilight leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. “All I have to do is un-Twilight like things. Unless she knew I would think that. But she would know I would know she would know I would think that, so I should do the double fakeout and go about my day as normal.”
Twilight began to pace the floor, lost in thought.
“But what if she’s using Pinkie Sense to plot out my day?” She stamped a hoof. “So far as I was able to determine, Pinkie Sense was only able to determine single events at a time. One door opening, one fall, one doozy. If this holds true, then she wouldn’t be able to use it to her advantage! She knew that I would go straight to the obvious!”
She shook her head, biting her lip as she once more approached the envelope. “But even if her Pinkie Sense was limited, that still leaves her incredible ability to read ponies. She knows what I like to do. She knows where I like to go. She could extrapolate everything just based off our prior interactions.”
Twilight briskly walked the length of the room, letter in hand until she paused before a window. She looked out at a dark sky and stared blankly.
“When did it get so late?” she asked, voice plaintive.
The door slammed open as Pinkie barreled into the room. “Hello Twilight!” She gave the words a singsong lilt as Twilight flinched back in alarm.
“Pinkie? What are you doing back so soon! It’s only—” Twilight looked askance at the clock mounted above the door. “Eight thirty? What?”
“Yepperooni! I was held up by the Cakes!” Pinkie smiled at Twilight and pawed at the envelope in her hooves. “You haven’t even opened it? Come on girl, give it a read, see how you did!”
Twilight tore open the letter and pulled out the schedule. Her jaw worked noiselessly as she read the single item on the list.
Betcha get so flustered you just stay in your house all day and do nothing ~love PPie
Twilight stared at Pinkie, whose smile grew larger and larger under Twilight’s unblinking glare.
“You can be a real bitch sometimes, Pinkie.”
Pinkie nodded her head vigorously. “Yeppers!”
Twilight sighed, closing her eyes against the slowly burgeoning headache. “Pinkie,” she said, a hoof working small circles into her temples, “There’s no way, even with you, that somepony could predict every action a pony takes in a day. It’s not possible. There are too many variables.”
Pinkie blew a raspberry and shooed away any concerns with a brisk wave. “Come on Twilight, think of it as, hmm,” her head tilted to one side and then the other as she considered. Finally her face brightened. “Think of it as an experiment!”
Twilight’s narrowed her eyes. “An experiment,” she repeated flatly.
“Yes! An experiment!” Pinkie pulled Twilight under an arm, the other waving around before them, attempting to convey the wonder of what Pinkie was imagining. “Remember when you were totally wrong about Pinkie Sense and everyone laughed at you for being a giant loser?”
Twilight’s eye twitched briefly before she willed her face into an expression of clinical detachment. “Yes, I can recall being taught a lesson about acknowledging the existence of things I don’t understand.”
“Well consider this your chance to gauge the boundaries of the ineffable! How far out does Pinkie Sense go? How accurate can it possibly be?” Pinkie released Twilight and pushed the envelope towards her. “Come on Twilight, it’ll be fun.”
Twilight sighed and took the envelope up in a hoof. “And if even one thing on this list is wrong, I win?”
“Mmhmm, you win.”
“And how long will this go on for?”
“Until eight o’clock tonight.”
There was brief hesitation before Twilight finally nodded.
Pinkie let out a loud squeal that did Twilight’s headache no favors before running out of the room. “Remember not to look at my predictions Twilight!” Her voice trailed off as she vanished into the distance.
Twilight shook her head wearily. The things she did for her friends.
Twilight studied the envelope over steepled hooves. According to Pinkie, her entire day was plotted out, to a T.
“Assuming she was basing her predictions behavioral analysis,” she thought. Twilight leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. “All I have to do is un-Twilight like things. Unless she knew I would think that. But she would know I would know she would know I would think that, so I should do the double fakeout and go about my day as normal.”
Twilight began to pace the floor, lost in thought.
“But what if she’s using Pinkie Sense to plot out my day?” She stamped a hoof. “So far as I was able to determine, Pinkie Sense was only able to determine single events at a time. One door opening, one fall, one doozy. If this holds true, then she wouldn’t be able to use it to her advantage! She knew that I would go straight to the obvious!”
She shook her head, biting her lip as she once more approached the envelope. “But even if her Pinkie Sense was limited, that still leaves her incredible ability to read ponies. She knows what I like to do. She knows where I like to go. She could extrapolate everything just based off our prior interactions.”
Twilight briskly walked the length of the room, letter in hand until she paused before a window. She looked out at a dark sky and stared blankly.
“When did it get so late?” she asked, voice plaintive.
The door slammed open as Pinkie barreled into the room. “Hello Twilight!” She gave the words a singsong lilt as Twilight flinched back in alarm.
“Pinkie? What are you doing back so soon! It’s only—” Twilight looked askance at the clock mounted above the door. “Eight thirty? What?”
“Yepperooni! I was held up by the Cakes!” Pinkie smiled at Twilight and pawed at the envelope in her hooves. “You haven’t even opened it? Come on girl, give it a read, see how you did!”
Twilight tore open the letter and pulled out the schedule. Her jaw worked noiselessly as she read the single item on the list.
Betcha get so flustered you just stay in your house all day and do nothing ~love PPie
Twilight stared at Pinkie, whose smile grew larger and larger under Twilight’s unblinking glare.
“You can be a real bitch sometimes, Pinkie.”